When Your Partner Takes Other People’s Side And What to Do About It

Learn why your partner defends others instead of validating you, why it hurts so much, how this breaks the goodwill pillar of trust, and exactly how to change this dynamic with actionable scripts and research-backed tools.

Chapters
0:00 Intro
01:32 First, Let’s Be Clear: Validation is Not Agreement
02:37 Why Your Partner Takes Other People’s Side
15:00 Why It Hurts: The Neuroscience of Feeling Unsupported
17:42 This Is Actually About Trust: The Real Breakdown
21:12 Common Signs This Is Happening in Your Relationship
What To Do About It: My Five-Step Framework
22:22 Step 1: Name the Pattern Out Loud
25:37 Step 2. Teach the Difference Between Validation and Agreement
27:10 Step 3. Be Crystal Clear About What You Need
29:15 Step 4: Invite a New Way to Respond
35:15 Step 5. Check for Power Struggles

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Resources for When Your Partner Takes Other People’s Side (And What to Do About It)

Overcoming Insecurity and Silencing Your Inner Critic
   • Overcoming Insecurity and Silencing Your I...  

How to Be Honest and Build Trust in a Relationship
   • How to Be Honest with Your Partner and Bui...  

Levant RF, Hall RJ, Rankin TJ. Male Role Norms Inventory-Short Form (MRNI-SF): development, confirmatory factor analytic investigation of structure, and measurement invariance across gender. J Couns Psychol. 2013 Apr;60(2):228-238. doi: 10.1037/a0031545. Epub 2013 Feb 18. PMID: 23421776.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23421...

McClure, I. (2003). The Essential Difference: Men, Women and the Extreme Male Brain. BMJ : British Medical Journal, 327(7405), 57. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles...
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles...

Sak, Wojciech. (2018). Daniel J. Siegel, The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are, Guilford Press, New York–London 2012, pp. 506. Kultura i Edukacja. 120. 217-222. 10.15804/kie.2018.02.14.
https://www.researchgate.net/publicat...

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