When Your Dog Dies: Getting Through the Grief and Guilt of Pet Loss

Maybe you wish you'd taken your dog to the vet sooner, or you think put your dog to sleep too soon. You may feel sick with guilt and shame, grief and regret. Whether you chose to put your dog to sleep or accidentally hurt your dog, your grief and guilt feels unbearable.

I’ve heard from hundreds of readers who were somehow involved in their dog’s death. Some were directly responsible for accidentally causing their dogs to die, while others feel like they put their dogs to sleep too soon. After you read my tips on how to deal with guilty feelings after a dog’s death, read through the comments section in my blog post. You’ll see you are not alone.

If you accidentally hurt your dog – or you wonder if you put your dog to sleep too soon – you’ll feel overwhelmed with guilt and shame. You loved your dog with all your heart and you feel like you'll can't even start coping with the loss of your dog. The last thing you wanted to do was cause your dog harm or death.

Most pet owners deal with guilty feelings after their dog dies. They struggle to learn how to live without their best friends after pet loss. In this video you’ll find a variety of practical and emotional ways to deal with guilty feelings after your dog dies. These ideas may or may not work for you, but I encourage you to at least think about them. Working through the guilty feelings after the loss of your dog will help you heal from the pain.

Practical tips for coping with the loss of your dog:

Write your dog a letter. Here’s something surprising but worth trying: write a letter of apology to your dog. Clear 30 minutes in your schedule, sit down in a private spot where you can write and weep, and tell your dog what happened. This will help you process and deal with your guilty feelings about your dog’s death.

Consider what your needs were at that time, and whether they were being met. If not, why not? This will help you see why you acted the way you did. For example, if you accidentally left your dog in a hot car you will see that you needed to do x, y, and z. That is what motivated you to forget your dog.

What were your motives for the decision you made? What or who was the catalyst for your behavior?

How were your feelings and mistakes handled when you were growing up? Were they forgiven, judged, or punished? Who was hard on you? Were you made to feel ashamed? It’s harder for us to forgive ourselves and deal with guilty feelings after a dog’s death when we haven’t learned forgiveness as children.

Relive your dog's death. What would you have done differently? It’s very possible that you would make that same decisions today, even though you feel guilty and are having trouble coping with the loss of your dog.

How does it benefit you to continue to punish yourself for accidentally causing your dog’s death?

If you had a forgiving mom, compassionate teacher, or wise counselor, write her a letter. Tell her that you can't cope with the loss of your dog. Let her warmth and love help you grieve.

Talk to other dog owners about what happened – but don’t share with those who might judge you. You are welcome to write about what happened to your dog in the comments section below. You will never be judged or shamed here, no matter how your dog died or what you did.

In sympathy,
Laurie