ABBOTT and COSTELLO meet Judy Canova - SCRIPT read-a-long Radio - Jan 6 1944

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Judy Canova
1/6/1944
4:43 (Paraphrased) I take my wife everywhere I go. Office, golf, even boys night
You get a load of the puss on your wife. You’d rather take her with you than kiss her goodbye.
5:20 – Darling you kill me, no you kill me
If there’s anybody out there with a hunting license, what are you waiting for?
6:00 - I looked so lovely in my bridal veil
You look better in a bridal

8:48 – Just one of those things Freddie Rich and his Orchestra

10:34 – Cary Grant and I go fifty-fifty on girls. He gets them under fifty and I get all those older

12:00 You pretend to be a girl, and I’l be the man.
What kind of girls should I be? Blonde or brunette?
I don’t care if you’re b or b or even if your bald headed.
Oh you men are all alike.
GREAT bit trying to teach Lou how to deal with a woman

15:41 – Connie Haines – How Sweet You Are
17:42 –Commercial
18:30 – Back to Show
Lou has to get married cause he tipped his hat to a lady.
You and my daughter, she’s aiming to get married.
Well I ain’t aiming to marry her
I got a shotgun here
Your aim is better than mine!

19:29 – Enter Judy Canova

21:10 – Beauty is only skin deep. Take away the skin and whattaya got?
I don’t know but I’d hate to have it for a blind date

21:40 - My uncle married my aunt and my father married my mother, so why should I marry a total stranger?

22:49 - Never wear shoes. I just paint my feet brain and lace up my toes
23:00 – A husband is what’s left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed

23:50 - Bow legged cowgirl – getting you calves together joke

Knitting a glove to put on a cow to keep the milk warm

25:30 – I’m too young to get married. I’m just a baby… I still suck my thumb.
You still suck your thumb?
Yeah I can’t reach my big toe any more

Give me a kiss
KISS
That’s it! The marriage is off.
The marriage is off because I kissed you?
If you kissed me you’d kiss anybody.

26:54 – Commercial

27:30 – Final Word