NO WIN: Narcissist Sees Himself in You (Projective Resonance)

Projective Resonance (not the same as empathy or social cognition):

As an external object, if you are weak, vulnerable, dependent, and submissive, you remind the narcissist of his/her moribund True (unconstellated, unintegrated) Self (and, thereby, undermine his/her grandiose, fantastic False Self).

As an external object, if you are strong, resilient, agentic, independent, and self-efficacious you remind him/her of his False Self (and, thereby, challenge his uniqueness).

This is another reason for snapshotting (introjecting) you. While you are a threat to the narcissist’s precarious balance, as an internal object you make him/her feels whole, elated, oceanic when reminded of his True Self - or idealized (co-idealization) when you remind him/her of his False Self.

Why the powerful bond with the narcissist? Why does s/he invariably devalue and discard you?

Common background of ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences)

Hall of Mirrors Effect

Trauma Bonding

Shared Fantasy


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