When She Earns More: A Conversation with Dr. Barker, Ed Coambs, and Melissa Hogenboom

Welcome to the Modern Husbands podcast, where any combination of Dr. Bruce Ross, Christian Sherrill, and Brian Page host national experts who share winning ideas to manage money and the home as a team.

I’m Brian Page, founder of Modern Husbands. Sometimes our listeners want more support than a podcast can give, individual or couple support, which I now provide. Details can be found at modernhusbands.com.

Today’s podcast is the first of a three part series: Empowering Men to Partner or Lead at Home: When She Earns More.

Today’s guests are Dr. Gary Barker, Ed Coambs, and Melissa Hogenboom.

Dr. Barker is the President and CEO of Equimundo. He is an internationally recognized expert on engaging men and boys in gender equality work.

Ed Coambs is a licensed marriage and family therapist, financial planner, and founder of Healthy Love and Money. He helps couples uncover the emotional roots of money stress, especially in relationships where earning dynamics are unequal.

Melissa Hogenboom is a BBC journalist and author of the book Breadwinners: The Next Chapter of the Fight for Equality, which examines the social and relational impact of female breadwinning.

Our conversation will focus on overcoming the unique challenges and dynamics in female breadwinning relationships.

Enjoy the show.

00:00 Introduction
01:25 You've worked with families across 40+ countries. What are some universal patterns you see when women become the primary earners?
06:09 In researching your book Breadwinners, what surprised you most about how female earners experience their relationships?
09:00 What are the emotional undercurrents behind money tension when she earns more?
16:22 What advice would you give couples trying to “rewrite the script” when roles flip?
21:15 How can couples begin uncovering and addressing money shame or resentment?
29:26 What cultural shifts do you think are needed—and possible?
32:01 Are the algorithms of social media adding to the belief that it’s “men vs. women” facing today’s challenges?
36:33 What types of men generally embrace relationships that include a female breadwinner, and what can we learn from them?
39:27 What does financial intimacy really look like in these relationships?
41:58 How can female breadwinners make their partners feel valued and loved for who they are?

#breadwinners #marriage #money