Executive Dysfunction| Part 11.5 Where I was, Where I am Now

Executive Dysfunction Series, Part 11½ Behind the Scene

Part 11½ is a full check-in on where I started last week vs. where I am today — mentally, emotionally, physically, and energetically.

When I began this series, I was frozen. Not just frozen in a messy camper, but frozen in my nervous system. I wasn’t regulated enough to act, even though I knew what I needed to do. And after months of feeling “off,” I finally understand why:

Back in February, two friendships ended — friendships I didn’t realize had become emotional replacements for my adult children. Losing them forced me to confront a grief I hadn’t fully named. My nervous system was grieving as if my children were gone from the world, not just from my daily life.

That grief never reset.
And I’ve been dysregulated since.
That dysregulation is what spiraled into months of executive dysfunction.

But this past week, everything started to shift — and strangely enough, it began with a motorcycle ride.
Yesterday, I mailed a letter to my daughter that I wrote back in August. A letter I poured my heart into. A letter I wasn’t ready to release until now. It’s been in my backpack all this time, and something in me knew I had to ride my bike to finally let it go.

Mailing that letter was a release I didn’t even realize I needed.
I felt lighter the moment I rode away.
And once that emotional weight moved, everything else started moving too.

This is what the last week has looked like:

• 5 big trash bags gone
• countless boxes out
• floor visible again
• my bench/table/bed thing actually cleared
• the kitchen scrubbed and reset
• cabinets cleaned and reorganized
• eating more regularly
• drinking water again
• showering
• reconnecting with my routines
• rebuilding systems I once loved
• feeling regulated
• feeling like ME again

Cleaning my camper didn’t just clean my space — it cleared my mind.
It regulated my nervous system.
It reminded me that I matter.
And somewhere in all of this, I realized I had been denying myself basic needs because a part of me felt like I didn’t deserve care without my children in my life.

But I do.
I matter.
And so do you.

ACTION STEP:

What’s one tiny thing you can do today that reminds you that you matter — even if it’s small?
Drop it in the comments. Your step counts. YOU count.

And if you made it to the end of my video — I appreciate you super duper.
Creators only get paid when people watch all the way through, so if you stayed with me, thank you. Truly.

More to come soon — Part 12 is on its way. 💛

#ShawnicornMindshiftCoaching #ExecutiveDysfunction #HealingInRealTime #YouMatter #TraumaRecovery