I wasn’t always confident nor comfortable in my own skin

I wasn’t always confident nor comfortable in my own skin. On the contrary, I always tried hard to get people’s approval, and I desperately wanted them to like me. This mentality brought so much pain and suffering into my life.

When I turned 35, I made a decision that changed my perspective on life and relationships with others forever.

As a people pleaser, I often attracted toxic relationships with narcissists. I was often asked to give but never ask for anything in return. I was gaslighted and blackmailed in every relationship I have ever been in. This includes family relationships, friendships, and of course, romantic relationships. Others made me believe that if I ever asked for something, it meant that I was too needy and they would leave me. My needs were never acknowledged by anyone, including my own parents. So, I thought that there must be something wrong with me since everyone treated me in the same way.

I have analyzed myself so much, and finally, the answer became clear to me. Others were simply mirroring back what I believe about myself. This doesn’t mean I will dismiss the fact that I related to jerks and entitled people my entire life. I cannot change them, but I can take my power back. I can stop being their victim. And I chose the difficult path of healing my wounds and choosing myself for the first time in my life.

I ended so many relationships and walked away with a promise to myself that I will never let those toxic people into my life ever again. And I didn’t look back.

For the past two years, I focused on myself. I have realized that all my overgiving and self-sacrificing caused me to burn out, and I literally had no energy for anyone.

I even chose a career path based on what others would think of me. I had to walk away from my job as I felt no fulfillment, and I became miserable. I am not here to complain about my life. This is a story of how I found hope after going through so much darkness.

In the past year, I have had some health issues, spent a lot of time at home, and realized that I have never truly rested in my life. I had to learn how to slow down, how to take care of myself, and how to rest.

Honestly, I see now that this health problem has actually been a blessing in disguise. Through solitude, I have learned to appreciate my own company and realized my own worthiness in spite of where I am today in terms of work or money. I have lost a lot but also gained so much back, such as self-love, self-care, and a sense of peace in spite of chronic pain.

I have learned what life is all about, and the material things have nothing to do with it. I have come to realize my own worthiness as a human being, and I put an end to my people-pleasing personality and limiting self-beliefs.

I am deeply grateful for where I am today and realize how valuable my time and energy are. I am still going around with very little energy, but I use my time wisely now.

About this channel:

Telling my story through a visual vlog, featuring my life in Norway 🪴
I am 37, from Oslo, Norway. I live with my daughter and our two cats. This vlog is my way of connecting with like-minded people who are interested in wellness, self care and growth.

I failed at taking care of myself in my early years and now I am suffering from range of health issues. I am getting a little better, but some days are certainly worse than others. I am mostly at home and studying part time at the University of Oslo, taking a masters degree in Pharmacy. I was originally majored in psychology but I resigned from my work after experiencing burnout. I chose pharmacy because I would rather tackle with chemistry than human mind.

I enjoy making vlogs. It creates a space for me to tell my story without feeling awkward ( if it make sense 😅 ). If you resonate with my story, then hit subscribe and stay tuned!


⚠️I am not on other social media platforms. Only on YouTube!

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