Test - The Scam

The episode opens in a cafe where the confused and eccentric Count Arthur Strong recounts a bizarre dream to his friends—Jerry, Sally, Wilf, and Jeffrey.

In the dream, Arthur drove a three-wheeled car to Aberdeen to deliver a goat to a farm run by a couple named Sonia and Angus.

He claims he stayed to help deliver Sonia's baby, which they named "Arthur Bella" in his honor.

The group attempts to organize a Secret Santa draw. Arthur disrupts the process by trying to manipulate the draw to ensure someone buys him a bottle of single malt whiskey, eventually picking his own name repeatedly before Wilf suggests a workaround.

The chaos is interrupted by a stranger, John "Nobby" Clark, who recognizes Arthur from their army service in Aden in 1958.

Nobby brags about his wealth, including a boat in Cannes.

Not wanting to be outdone, Arthur lies, claiming he runs a successful "chain of chain shops" (selling everything from mayoral chains to convict chains) and is married to a woman named "Chardonnay"—a name he improvises based on a wine bottle.

Nobby invites Arthur and his wife to dinner at the Queen's Hotel.

Arthur bribes Sally with a "toasty tea" to pose as Chardonnay, despite having just insulted her.

At dinner, Arthur struggles to maintain the ruse, frequently forgetting Sally's fake name and backstory.

Nobby and his partner, Gloria, eventually pivot to pitching a fraudulent investment scheme involving property in the "Silly Isles."

The dinner ends abruptly when the waiter reveals himself to be an undercover police officer.

He arrests Nobby and Gloria for fraud. Arthur, oblivious to the gravity of the situation, physically restrains the officer, demanding that his order for a "catamaran in breadcrumbs" and "roast pork groin" be taken before anyone leaves.

• Count Arthur Strong: A retired, befuddled variety star who is prone to misunderstandings and malapropisms.

• Jerry (Gerald): The cafe worker who tolerates Arthur's antics.

• Sally: A cafe regular whom Arthur frequently insults; she poses as Arthur's fake wife, "Chardonnay."

• Wilf: A master butcher and friend of Arthur's.

• Jeffrey: Another cafe regular.

• John "Nobby" Clark: An old army acquaintance of Arthur turned conman.

• Gloria Healey: Nobby's partner in crime.

Count Arthur Strong (Steve Delaney).

Appearing with him are:

• Mel Giedroyc

• Alistister Kerr

• Dave Mounfield

The script is written by Steve Delaney and produced by John Leonard and Graeme Duff.