MANDATORY HOLIDAY OFFICE PARTY // KREMWERK SEATTLE - CHERRY COMPLEX // IMPACT! FOUNDATION

Greetings, ${“First Name}, cog in our rave-industrial complex valued stakeholder! Impact! and sPiN! have formed a strategic partnership in order to maximize rave production, with sPiN! lending it’s long established expertise in the silly themed rave sector. This collaboration has already borne fruit, in the form of the return of the MANDATORY HOLIDAY OFFICE PARTY! Come celebrate a phenomenal year for us in maximizing ravegoer value, doing PLUR (Profiteering, Looting, Unifying, and corporate Raiding) and innovation through leveraging new technological developments in AI (Artist Investment, obviously)

Not an employee of Impact! or sPiN!? Well, no need to fear. By attending this (mandatory) party, you will automatically be hired and assigned a new job title at the door. We pay above market rate*, have a generous benefit package**, and have many opportunities for advancement***. There will also be catering, special activities, and awards for top performers! And most importantly, presentations from the leadership teams of both companies. Featuring…

–SuPeR K! (CEO and Lion of Partying, sPiN! sPiN! SuPeR)
SuPeR K! has been a visonary leader in Raves and Rave accessories since the 2000’s. After founding sPiN! sPiN! SuPeR he rapidly grew it from a simple internet radio show, to a house party, and then a long running series of venue shows. Spin! is massive inspirational to Impact! (one of the first events attended by Eximious in Seattle was the original Mandatory Holiday Office Party) and we’re thrilled to have SuPeR K! as a keynote performer at our show

–Eximious (Executive Director and The Bird of The Word, Impact!)
Co-Founder, Leader, Notorious LGBT, Birdbrain, and DJ, Eximious has been leading devlopments in the Rave Industrial Complex™ in Seattle for the last 3 years. From humble beginnings as a birthday party with co-founder Aliceofsin, Impact! has grown to be the top hard dance organization in Seattle, with this year seeing a monumental achivement in First Impact! an entirely homegrown festival. Her presentation will focus on how to make the line (BPM) go up!

–HazelZen (Chief Tree Officer and VP of Renegade Ops, sPiN! sPiN! SuPeR)
Emerging from their office in the far flung reaches of the mountains of Cascadia, HazelZen has been a long time leader in the sPiN! Steering Committee, guiding the organization in the direction of more bangers per capita every year

–BVD GRRL (Chief Technology Witch and Director of Demonic Pacts, Impact!)
Unshackled from the AV station, BVD GRRL brings will be presenting the newest innovation in Rave Technology. Using her abilities to open a portal to hell directly through the decks, she’s been instrumental in creating an unbeatable technological advantage for Impact! on the stage, behind it, and off it

–LadyKiller (Director of Murders and Executions (Mostly), sPiN! sPiN! SuPeR)
LadyKiller has been an instrumental part of sPiN! since the start, turning losses into greater losses and turning heads 180 degrees. Her resume includes a wide variety of skills in genres from House to Happy Hardcore, and spins the platter as deftly as she slices through the competition. A presentation you’d be dying to miss!

–Buttonz (President of Memetic Warfare and Occluded
Member of The Hands Up Mafia, sPiN! sPiN! SuPeR)
Presenting in the stead of Co-Founder of Impact! AliceOfSin, who will be recovering from a terrible attempt on her life (surgery) Buttonz was chosen to present in her stead. Buttonz has been a thought leader in the DJ space, in leading people to wonder how is it possible to fit so many ridiculous meme and cheesy hands up tracks into a set? His presentation will reveal the secrets to you, if you think your brain can handle the knowlege…

Can’t wait to synergize and network with you on the floor!

Flyer by Paige

*Above market rate for rave production groups in the Rat Islands
** Generous Benefit Package Includes: 2 Drink Tickets (adjusted by -2 due to prevailing economic headwinds)
*** Advancement through the time and space at the event. Anyone found violating causality by not advancing through time or space will be terminated with extreme prejudice.