"I'm Not Good Enough for God to Bless": Breaking Free From Transactional Faith

Have you ever felt like God is quietly disappointed in you—holding back His blessings until you finally get it together? Like if you just prayed harder, worked smarter, sinned less, or managed your money better, then maybe He’d show up?

Yeah… me too.

In this honest devotional, I open up about the struggles that had me questioning if I was failing as a parent, as a provider, and even as a Christian. Those moments when financial stress, guilt, and anxiety whisper the same lie: *God is stingy. He’s holding back. And it’s probably your fault.*

But here’s the truth—**that’s not the real God.** That’s a pretend god. A miser-god. A transactional god who doesn’t actually exist.

If you've ever wrestled with the fear that you’re not enough for God, or caught yourself treating Him like a vending machine who only responds to your good behaviour, I hope this message brings you the same reminder it brought me: *God’s love is not earned. His grace isn’t transactional. His support doesn’t depend on your performance.*

*❓ Problems Discussed:*
Why do I feel like God is disappointed in me?
What is transactional faith and why is it so damaging?
How does the lie of the “miser God” fuel guilt and anxiety?
What does it mean to truly trust in God’s generosity and grace?

*💡 Key Takeaways:*
Transactional faith traps us in fear, guilt, and self-reliance
The lie of the miser-God makes us anxious, ashamed, and exhausted
God’s real character is consistent, loving, and generous—not stingy or transactional
Freedom comes from trusting His grace, not your performance

*🔗 Connect with Me:*
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*👋 Who is XtianNinja?*
I’m XtianNinja—full-time digital pastor, variety Twitch streamer, author of *The Art of Digital Influence*, and founder of The Alliance for Creative Outreach (TACO). My passion is to connect with the lost, the lonely, and the disenfranchised—especially in nerd, gamer, and online spaces that the church often overlooks. Through honest conversation, thoughtful teaching, and a whole lot of humour, I aim to create safe, welcoming places where faith and real life meet.

*💬 I'd love to hear from you:*
Have you ever caught yourself believing in the miser-God? How do you remind yourself of His true heart? Share your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to talk about it with you.