The Hot & Cold Fearful Avoidant Cycle Explained & the Secret to Healthily Bond

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Do you feel yourself pulling away when someone gets close — only to panic when they create distance?

This hot and cold cycle is one of the most painful and confusing patterns of the Fearful Avoidant attachment style. In this video, Thais Gibson explains exactly why this cycle happens, what’s really being triggered beneath the surface, and how to finally break free from it in a healthy, secure way.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in make-up and break-up dynamics, struggled to settle into relationships, or felt overwhelmed by closeness and distance at the same time — this episode is for you.

Fearful Avoidants often experience intense emotional polarities — craving closeness while simultaneously fearing it. In this episode, Thais breaks down:

• Why Fearful Avoidants feel overwhelmed when partners pursue them
• Why distance can suddenly trigger anxiety and chasing behaviors
• How unresolved childhood core wounds fuel hot-and-cold relationship cycles
• Why pushing someone away feels like “relief” — but leads to regret later
• How emotional literacy, boundaries, and subconscious healing change everything

You’ll learn how these patterns form, why they repeat, and what it actually takes to feel safe, settled, and secure in relationships — without losing yourself.

✨ Key Takeaways

• Why Fearful Avoidants struggle to trust and settle into relationships
• How core wounds like abandonment, entrapment, and unworthiness get activated
• The real reason behind make-up and break-up cycles
• Why pushing someone away is a trauma response — not a true desire
• How to identify needs instead of reacting from fear
• The role of subconscious reprogramming in lasting healing
• What healthy bonding actually looks like for Fearful Avoidants

⏱️ Timestamps

00:00 – Hot and Cold Patterns
00:49 – The Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
01:40 – Fearful Avoidants Struggle to Settle Into Relationships
03:49 – When Core Wounds Get Triggered
05:57 – Boxing Week: Sex Course Promo
06:42 – The Make Up and Breakup Cycle
09:22 – Healing Your Core Wounds

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

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