All of Cartmans 'THE FUCK's from Fatbeard

"Fatbeard" is the seventh episode of the thirteenth season of the American animated television series South Park. The 188th overall episode of the series, it originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on April 22, 2009 and in the United Kingdom on April 24, 2009.
"Fatbeard" was a reference to increasing international media attention to piracy in the Indian Ocean, and the script depicted the pirates in a sympathetic light. The crew of the USS Bainbridge, the Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer which participated in the rescue of the hijacked MV Maersk Alabama, contacted the South Park creators to praise them for the episode.

Having misunderstood the news about an upsurge of piracy in the Indian Ocean, Cartman excitedly tells his friends the classic era of piracy has returned, and asks the boys to join him in becoming a pirate in what he describes as a responsibility-free life in a warm tropical paradise. Sensing an opportunity to get rid of Cartman once and for all, Kyle encourages him to go, even offering to help pay for his plane ticket. Although Butters, Ike, Clyde and Kevin are the only students who agree to join his crew, an undaunted Cartman uses his mother's credit card to book a trip to Somalia via Expedia. After a long flight from Denver International Airport to Cairo and a 49-hour bus ride across Africa, the boys arrive in Mogadishu dressed as stereotypical pirates. Once there, however, they are shocked to find themselves in a desolate land, the complete opposite of their expectations.

They quickly find the pirates, who are shocked that anyone would knowingly venture into their base. The pirates decide to ransom the boys to the first European vessel they find, although Cartman and the boys do not understand because the pirates are speaking Somali. The boys confidently go with them, believing they are being taken to a pirate ship, but are once again disappointed when they are taken to a small motorboat. Eventually, the pirates find a French cruise ship and demand a ransom of five thousand euros in exchange for the boys' lives. Meanwhile in South Park, Kyle happily claims partial credit for sending Cartman to Somalia and expects things will be better without Cartman around. But when his parents discover a farewell letter from Ike, Kyle realizes his brother has run off with Cartman to Somalia, and he sets off for Mogadishu to bring his brother home. Back in Somalia, the ransom is paid and the boys are surrendered. Once on board, however, Cartman assumes control of the schooner and orders the crew to get onto the lifeboat. Although the captain initially refuses, Kevin brandishes a toy lightsaber, frightening the French crew into abandoning ship. Cartman and the boys return to Mogadishu with the captured vessel, giving several bundles of euros to the pirates. The pirates are initially shocked, but begin to respect Cartman. Unimpressed by their lack of "pirate" traits, he in turn leads them in raiding ships via a traditional sea shanty called "Somalian Pirates, We", and starts fashioning them into a stereotypical pirate crew.

Meanwhile, the French crew is rescued by an oil tanker, and the U.S. Navy is deployed by NATO and the United Nations after getting word from the cargo ship captain that the pirates now have "advanced weaponry" (which was really just Kevin's toy lightsaber, that the French crew thought was real). Kyle arrives in Mogadishu but is immediately taken captive by the pirates and held hostage. He pleads with Cartman to let him and his brother leave, but Cartman refuses, believing that Kyle is simply jealous of his new pirate life. Meanwhile, an English-speaking pirate named Guleed asks Butters and Ike why they decided to become pirates. When they say that they left because they were tired of things like school, chores, homework, and being yelled at by adults, Guleed responds by telling them that he doesn't want to be a pirate, and only became one because he is desperately poor: he dreamed of going to school and his mother was suffering from AIDS that could not be treated, while his father was killed attempting to find food for his family. Butters and Ike end up realizing how close-minded and complacent they've been and that a life of piracy is one of hardship and suffering rather than fun and adventure like normal life can be. They then tell Cartman that they want to return home, but he refuses to give up his delusions of grandeur and threatens the boys with death by calling the real pirates to hold them at gunpoint. However, Cartman's vision is quickly disrupted when a U.S. Navy ship hired by NATO appears off the coast carrying snipers, who kill all of the Somali pirates, with its commander stating 'do not hit the white ones' within seconds. This leaves Cartman dumbfounded and annoyed, as he quips, "The fuck?".