Not All Men are ready for this conversation

Domestic violence is an epidemic in Australia, and Jess Hill has dedicated a good chunk of time trying to understand why.

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Joining us in the Academy of Imperfection, Jess explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the unrelenting system of entrapment that many women find themselves in, including a detailed look at the history of coercive control, and the term ‘perspecticide’.

Describing the importance of early intervention for young boys, and answering the question ‘Why don’t they just leave?’, Jess discusses with Josh the difference between guilt and shame, and the fundamental impact of these emotions.

This episode is compulsory listening for everyone (obviously, it’s Jess Hill talking about one of the most significant issues in our country), but especially those who, in their quietest, most vulnerable moment, recognise themselves as a perpetrator and want to take the next steps to changing the cycle of trauma.

Jess, we cannot thank you enough.

🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

Tarang Chawla - Men Talking About Men’s Violence - https://bit.ly/45p2aBN
Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3SSvrND
An Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4n4ce9o
Another Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4jUHQf7

🎧Things to listen to

The Trap - Why Do They Do It? - https://bit.ly/3G0H9D1

📺 Things to watch

See What You Made Me Do - https://bit.ly/3STaUbW
Matt Brown TedTalk - https://bit.ly/4jP1RUc

📖 Things to read

See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3HG8gno
The Reckoning by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3FQyZNy
Losing It by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/4ni3YD8
She Is Not Your Rehab by Matt Brown with Sarah Brown - https://bit.ly/45In6Uz
Rape in Marriage by Diana E.H Russell - https://bit.ly/4n3q0Jr
Home Truths by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/402SfOC
The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge - https://bit.ly/4eejITp
Shame and Pride by Donald Nathanson - https://bit.ly/4lsrc7V
Three Planet Model by Marianne Hester - https://bit.ly/4e4sG5t

💻Things to check out

Yiliyapinya - https://yiliyapinya.org.au/about/
Inner Boy - She Is Not Your Rehab - Free 30 Day Program - https://bit.ly/4jPOdQA

🚨If you, or someone you know, is exhibiting behaviour that may be concerning or problematic, call MensLine on 1300 78 99 78, or No To Violence on 1300 766 491.

🚨If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend the nation24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732.

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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

0:00 – A good distraction to brain cancer
9:48 – Domestic violence: an epidemic
17:05 – The calculation of a wounded animal
26:22 – Not all men
35:34 – The origins of coercive control (it is not what you think)
44:19 – Why don’t they leave?
52:57 – Why doesn’t he stop?
1:05:06 – The power of yet
1:15:51 – Shame, guilt and the patriarchy

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast...

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6ZmSCzs...

Instagram: @theimperfectspodcast

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.