My First Kiss at the Altar & Vaginismus After Saving Sex for Marriage | Purity Culture

This video is about the sexual shame I experienced having my first kiss at the altar and dealing with vaginismus after saving sex for marriage. I also explain the mindset I was in when I got married as a result of being raised in purity culture. I share some groups that influenced my worldview, including Focus on the Family, Above Rubies, and the Duggar family.

Thanks so much for watching!

[Podcasts Mentioned]
“Focus on Your Own Family: Response to Focus on the Family’s Jim Daly” by Bradley Onishi: https://anchor.fm/straightwhiteameric...
“Weekly Roundup: The Problem with the Focus on the Family” by Bradley Onishi and Dan Miller: https://anchor.fm/straightwhiteameric...

[Vaginismus]
“Vaginismus Can Cause (and Be Caused By) Emotional Trauma, But Healing Is Possible” by Corinne Kai: https://www.allure.com/story/vaginism...

[Purity Culture Resources]
“Don’t Just ‘Reframe’ Purity Culture—Rethink the Whole Concept” by T.F. Charlton: https://rewirenewsgroup.com/article/2...
“Give Me Sex Jesus” Documentary by Matthew Barber: https://vimeo.com/137784146​
"Purity Culture & White Supremacy" by Tori Williams Douglass: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6vr1...
"Emily Joy Allison Wrote the Book on # ChurchToo | Exvangelical" by Blake Chastain with Amy Congdon: https://www.exvangelicalpodcast.com/e...
"A Place in the Middle" by PBS Hawaii: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIQ5f...
“Unlike a Virgin: Exploring My Sexuality as an Asian American Christian” by Emily Lu Gao: https://mochimag.com/our-voices/unlik...
“How An Evangelical Dating Guide and Purity Culture Gave Me An Anxiety Disorder” by Hannah Brashers: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/i-kiss...
"Being a Woman of Color in Purity Culture with Asha Dahya" by Bradley Onishi with Asha Dahya: https://anchor.fm/straightwhiteameric...

[Timestamps]
00:00 - Purity Culture & Sexual Shame
00:42 - Religious and social context
01:58 - Focus on the Family, Above Rubies, & the Duggars
04:47 - My first kiss at the altar
07:22 - Vaginismus after saving sex for marriage
11:41 - Sexual safety in relationships

[Background Music]
Title: Hold Your Hand
https://www.hooksounds.com​​​

Image description: Elly is white with brown eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. She is wearing a yellow shirt with small white flowers on it, sitting in front of a bed as she talks to the camera. There is a string of lights draped on the wall behind her.

#PurityCulture #Exvangelical #Vaginismus #SexualShame #Quiverfull #Cult