Esther Perel Reveals the Secret to Lasting Love & Passion

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, Tony and Sage Robbins are excited to share this exclusive episode featuring world-renowned psychotherapist and bestselling author Esther Perel. Recorded at the 2017 Platinum Partners Relationship Event, Esther joins Tony and Sage for a deep dive into the complexities of love, desire, and intimacy in modern relationships.

Through a thought-provoking presentation and engaging audience questions, Esther explores the evolving expectations we place on romantic partnerships—how we now seek one person to be both our source of stability and adventure, security and passion. She delves into the contradictions between love and desire, the reasons infidelity occurs even in loving relationships, and the role of imagination in keeping intimacy alive.

Guiding the audience through deep reflections, interactive exercises, and powerful insights, Esther shares practical wisdom on cultivating connection, navigating relationship challenges, and reigniting passion. Together, they explore how cultural conditioning shapes intimacy, why we struggle with the idea of “the one” in a world of endless choices, and the seven key verbs that define the dynamics of a relationship. Offering a fresh perspective on sustaining desire in long-term partnerships, Esther reveals how to reconcile the paradoxes of modern love.

Whether you're in a relationship, seeking one, or reevaluating your approach to love, this episode will challenge your perspectives and leave you with actionable takeaways to enhance the quality of your relationships—and, ultimately, your life. Please enjoy!

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TIME CODE:
00:00 Intro
00:49 Tony’s Intro
02:35 The Role of Relationships in Our Lives
04:23 "We learn our best lessons when things fall apart."
06:00 The Evolution of Choice and Love
08:35 Modern Love, Desire, and Identity
10:45 From Duty to Desire: How Love Became More Meaningful—Yet Fragile
12:05 Infidelity in the Modern Age: Why It Happens
13:55 From God to Soulmate: The Rise of “The One and Only”
16:40 The Dual Nature of Love and Desire—Harmony or Conflict?
17:25 Writing Exercise
18:57 Audience Share: Coleman
27:00 Audience Share: Buttercup
33:50 The Relationship Vocabulary: 7 Verbs That Define Love
38:27 Sex vs. Eroticism: The Key Differences
41:52 "Foreplay starts at the end of the previous orgasm."
43:24 Audience Q&A: Kylie navigates post-breakup life, torn between desire and societal
conditioning.
50:17 Phillip’s Insight on Kylie’s Struggle
53:50 Andy Weighs In on Kylie’s Dilemma
57:16 Marc Reflects on His Past Objectification of Women
01:08:31 Natalie’s Journey: Love, Fear, and the Aftermath of an Abusive Relationship
01:20:50 Jessica’s Takeaway on Love
01:21:13 Sarah’s Story: The First Date With Her Husband
01:21:48 Audience Q&A: How Can Partners Sync Their Desires?
01:24:10 John on the Meaning We Assign to Experiences
01:25:57 Dimple’s Perspective
01:26:20 Tony Challenges the Idea That Forgiveness Equals Disempowerment—True Strength
Lies Beyond Victimhood

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Tony Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, entrepreneur, philanthropist, and the nation's #1 Life and Business Strategist. For more than four and a half decades, more than 100 million people from 195 countries have enjoyed the warmth, humor, and transformational power of his business and personal development events.

Mr. Robbins is the author of seven internationally bestselling books, including three #1 New York Times bestsellers: Money: Master the Game, Unshakeable, and Life Force. He created the #1 personal and professional development program of all time, and more than 10 million people have attended his live seminars.

Anthony Robbins is the chairman of a holding company comprising more than 110 privately held businesses with combined sales exceeding $7 billion a year. He has been named in the top 50 of Worth Magazine’s 100 most powerful people in global finance for three consecutive years, honored by Accenture as one of the "Top 50 Business Intellectuals in the World''; by Harvard Business Press as one of the "Top 200 Business Gurus"; and by American Express as one of the "Top Six Business Leaders in the World" to coach its entrepreneurial clients. Fortune’s recent cover article named him the “CEO Whisperer.”