Balancing Acceptance and Expectation: Building Executive Functioning in Homeschooling and Parenting

This week we're exploring one of the most profound tensions parents face: finding the balance between fully accepting our children as they are, and encouraging them to stretch, grow, and gain independence. Drawing on neuroscience, executive functioning research, and real-life stories, I'll unpack why kids need opportunities to try, make mistakes, and try again, and how this very process helps their brains develop resilience and problem-solving skills.

You'll learn about the "just right challenge," the science of how our brains learn from errors, and practical strategies for scaffolding your child's growth in daily homeschool life. From supporting hesitant writers, to helping kids take on chores and navigate perfectionism, I'll provide OT-friendly guidance you can apply today. Whether you're a seasoned homeschooler, a new parent, or somewhere in between, this episode offers both encouragement and actionable tools for nurturing independence, persistence, and confidence in your children.

In this episode you'll hear about:

Acceptance vs. Expectation in Parenting and Homeschooling
Definition of acceptance: seeing children truly as they are now (sensory needs, executive functioning, emotional capacities)
Definition of expectation: envisioning and believing in children’s potential to stretch and grow
The importance of balancing both for genuine child development
Key Book Reference: Gretchen Rubin’s “My Life in Five Senses”
How the book’s message applies to understanding and loving children
Parenting Challenges: Finding the Balance
The need for balance for healthy growth and executive function development
Neuroscience of Mistakes & Learning
How trial and error fosters executive skills (sequencing, planning, problem solving)
Introduction to “error related negativity” (ERN) and “error positivity component” (PE)
Physiology of mistake-driven learning and lifelong neuroplasticity
How Mistakes Fuel Learning & Executive Functioning
Mistakes indicate active brain learning not failure
Importance of applying neuroscience and OT principles at home
Emotional regulation and executive skills needed to cope with imperfection
Step-by-step modeling: starting imperfectly, co-regulating, collaborative effort, and gradual independence
Accepting where both child and parent are in the learning process
Celebrating effort, process, and small steps forward
Reminding parents progress is not always linear—growth happens in tiny steps
Choosing one area to support (writing, chores, routines, etc.)
Questions for reflection: What does acceptance and expectation look like here?
Identifying the current stage of gradual release for a child
Allowing productive struggle and celebrating process over product

Thank you to our title sponsor for this episode, CTC Math. Please enjoy a FREE TRIAL of CTC math from The Homeschool OT, and after your free trial enjoy half price homeschoolers discount in our shownotes.