Why The Fearful Avoidant & Anxious Attachment Stay in Toxic Relationships | An Exercise to Heal

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The fastest way to understand why people stay in toxic relationships isn’t just trying to “think” your way out — it’s uncovering the subconscious patterns that keep you repeating the same unhealthy cycles. Recognizing these patterns is the key to reclaiming your energy, setting boundaries, and creating empowered, healthier relationships.

In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down a five-step process to reveal how your subconscious mind may be keeping you in toxic patterns, so you can finally stop repeating painful relationship experiences and take control of your emotional life.

You’ll learn:
✅ How the conscious mind controls only 3–5% of your decisions while the subconscious drives 95–97%
✅ How to identify toxic traits in past partners and connect them to ways you may treat yourself
✅ How dismissing, manipulating, or overgiving to yourself shows up in relationships
✅ How childhood conditioning creates patterns that repeat in adult relationships
✅ How to score and reflect on your own behaviors to uncover where you self-sabotage
✅ How practical steps to rewire these subconscious patterns for lasting change and shift your familiar patterns
✅ Why making unhealthy patterns unfamiliar to your subconscious is essential for choosing healthier relationships

Episode Breakdown: 
00:00 – Intro
01:09 – Step 1: Write Down Your Last Toxic or Unhealthy Relationship
01:48 – Step 2: Pick One Quality and Ask Yourself, “Where Do I Treat Myself This Way?”
02:56 – Step 3: Where Did You Learn These Patterns From?
02:59 – Step 4: Why Do You Have Them?
03:43 – Step 5: What Is One Thing You’re Going to Do Today to Stop It?
04:10 – Ending Codependency Course Promo
04:41 – Making Unhealthy Familiar Patterns Unfamiliar
05:24 – Conclusion

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

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We stay in toxic relationships because subconscious patterns feel familiar and “safe.” Thais Gibson explains a five-step process to uncover these patterns, reflect on self-treatment, and start rewiring your behaviors for healthier, empowered relationships.