What we are getting all wrong about Masculinity with Jacob Tobia

Author and activist Jacob Tobia joins Dr. Amelia Kelley for a deep and honest conversation about masculinity, patriarchy, and the ways both men and women are shaped by the systems they live in. Together they explore why most men are not beneficiaries of patriarchy but co-survivors of it, how emotional repression harms everyone, and why the term “toxic masculinity” may be keeping us stuck instead of helping us heal.

This episode challenges cultural myths, highlights the loneliness crisis among men, and invites listeners to see gender as a choice instead of a cage. Whether you identify as male, female, or non-binary, this conversation will expand your understanding of empathy, equality, and freedom.

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:30 Why Jacob chose honesty over performance
04:50 The real reason the book matters right now
07:00 Men as co-survivors of patriarchy
10:20 How patriarchy harms emotional expression
13:00 The myth of “toxic masculinity” and why it fails us
17:40 Masculinity should be opt-in, not forced
22:00 The loneliness crisis among men
28:00 How culture and gender conditioning feed disconnection
35:00 Patriarchy, power, and the value of gender
45:00 What women can do to support men’s healing
50:30 The “trad wife” movement explained
55:30 How freedom means choosing your identity
58:00 Jacob’s message to both movements
01:02:00 Closing reflections and how to connect with Jacob

Connect with Dr. Amelia Kelley:
🌍 Website: https://www.ameliakelley.com
📸 Instagram:   / drameliakelley  
👩🏼‍💼 LinkedIn:   / drameliakelley