How a Chaos God Fell for a PHONE SCAM | Warhammer 40k

⚠️ SCAM ALERT
This archive contains: Unsolicited astropathic marketing, predatory soul-insurance schemes, misuse of the Warp for long-distance calls, and the startling revelation that the Architect of Fate has absolutely no defense against aggressive telemarketing.

In the 41st Millennium, war is constant, but the "Grind" is eternal. While Space Marines fight daemons, the rest of humanity is just trying to pay the rent.

This is the story of Ortho, a low-level hustler from Necromunda who tried to make a quick buck with a psychic phishing scam. He intended to rob a merchant. Instead, he accidentally dialed the direct line of Tzeentch, the Chaos God of Change.

And then... he closed the deal.

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📋 IN THIS ARCHIVE:

Witness the most audacious cold-call in galactic history, where a man armed with nothing but a script and a lobotomized Astropath manages to convince an omniscient God that his "Gellar Field Warranty" has expired.

Observe Tzeentch, the Great Conspirator, have a complete existential crisis trying to analyze the hidden stratagems of a man named "Steve" who just wants money for soup.

Discover the ultimate price of success in the Imperium: How scamming a God didn't get Ortho killed, but trapped him in a fate far worse than death—Middle Management.

This is not a story of heresy.
This is a story of sales quotas.
This is the art of the deal, Warp edition.

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💬 COMMUNITY ARCHIVE REQUESTS:
The archives of stupidity are vast. What mundane horror should we explore next?
Next file: The Absurd Reality of Being a Space Marine (Why they can't sit down).

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The Emperor Protects.
But only if your premiums are paid up to date.
Transaction Status: ✅ Approved
Chaos God Status: 😵 Confused

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This is an unofficial fan work and is not endorsed by Games Workshop. All rights to Warhammer 40,000 are owned by Games Workshop.

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