Disability Relationships - Definition of Love

Living as a C6 quadriplegic with a spinal cord injury, injured in 2010 At 27 years old, relationships seemed like a distant dream to me for so many years. Once I found my partner, and now husband, the definition of love for me has changed greatly. I thought love was this epic romance with fiery passion. It really was a fairytale I had concocted in my mind since I was a child.

At 39 years old I have come to realize, especially with a disability, that the definition of love is so much more complicated. For me, it's about those small moments in life that many may not think about. It's about my husband checking my feet at night to make sure I don't have pressure sores on my heels, making sure my skin doesn't have any red marks or helping me in the middle of the night when my bowel or bladder may have not been behaving very well.

I think people get married for a whole bunch of different reasons. Obviously, there needs to be a mutual attraction at first, but then each relationship turns into something quite unexpected for many of us. I don't need sweeping romance or even flowers or surprise trips. I need compassion, understanding, another human being to have conversations with, care for me in a way that many others don't, and have my back. This can mean different things to different folks, but living with a disability and in my marriage, Again, for me personally, I want consistency.

Many may disagree, but being married to a person with a severe physical disability presents its own sets of challenges. Many are not up for the task. I hate to say it, but it's true. I think it takes a very special human being to see beyond the physical, Dive within, and build a meaningful healthy relationship.

In my video here are just a few example of what the definition of love means to me and some of the most quirky ways, but meaningful, you can imagine.