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The Captain Cris Family Story:

Commodore Earl DeLaChrisse, Lord High Admiral of France, married the fair lady Duchess Kristyne Cristoffer. The issue of their marriage was two children: Gris the Elder Brother and Kris, a younger son given to spending his inheritance. His family disowned their wayward son, who was forced to become a privateer in order to make his way.

During a brief stay in the West Indies, Kaptain Kris fell in love with Cinnamon, a prostitute in her waning years of fertility. Kris bid her farewell, promising to return on the next Feast of St. Cumberbatch. 'Twas a pity, then, Kris was waylaid in Nippon for almost 4 years. Upon returning to the Caribbean Cinnamon presented him with his cross-eyed, mumbling, clumsy son Cris.

Although Cris was in no-wise fit to captain a ship (having never been to sea and also because he was 3 1/2 years old), Kris ceded the captaincy to his son, who set off for a life of adventure!

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