True recovery begins when you stop lying to yourself.

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What do you do when you can't directly make amends to someone you've hurt long ago? How do you release the guilt of harmful words spoken decades in the past? These questions haunt many in recovery, and in this episode, we unpack the transformative power of "living amends."

The conversation begins with Larry sharing highlights from an AA convention in Canada, where a speaker's powerful message resonated deeply: "Higher powers will happen with or without me. Alcoholics Anonymous and the third step in particular is the invitation for me to get on board so I can stop getting dragged behind it." This sets the stage for a profound discussion about moving beyond our past actions.

Paul, with nearly 37 years of sobriety, offers wisdom on making living amends: "I don't do the things to them that I used to do." This deceptively simple statement contains depths of meaning—true amends isn't just saying sorry, it's becoming someone new. The hosts share practical ways they embody this principle: smiling at strangers, asking "Who can I love on today?" before leaving home, and shifting focus from self to service.

The most powerful revelation comes when discussing self-honesty. Many find their obsession with alcohol leaves at the exact moment they stop lying to themselves about who they are. This radical truthfulness—refusing to justify, rationalize, or minimize—creates the foundation for authentic change and makes the entire recovery journey easier.

We also explore the heartbreaking reality that we can't save everyone. People move at "the speed of pain," changing only when staying the same becomes too painful. This recognition doesn't mean we stop caring—it means we approach others with compassion, meeting them where they are without judgment, while being available when they're finally ready.

If you're carrying guilt about past actions or struggling to make amends that seem impossible, this episode offers hope through practical approaches to living differently today. Join us for a conversation that might just transform how you view your recovery journey and your relationship with your past.


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