Tavernpocalypse – The Night the Dragon Joined the

Tavernpocalypse – The Night the Dragon Joined the Brawl

In the Prancing Pony’s cousin, the Drunken Dragon’s Den,
A quiet pint turned sideways when the dwarf insulted the elf again.
“You pointy-eared twig!” he bellowed, “Your bow’s just a fancy stick!”
The elf flicked ale in his beard—then the whole place lost its wick!
The orc at the bar stood roaring, “I fight for no one’s side!”
Grabbed a stool, swung it wildly—knocked out the bard mid-stride.
The bard flew into the fireplace, came out singed but still alive,
Screamed “This is going in my ballad!” while dodging a rogue’s thrown knife!

OI! Mayhem in the tavern, chairs are flying through the air!
Dwarves headbutting halflings, elves pulling out their hair!
Tankards crash, spells go flash, the barmaid’s swinging pans—
Total tavern takedown, nobody’s got a plan!
OI! OI! Smash another chair!
If you’re still standing tomorrow, you weren’t really there!

The wizard tried “Calm Emotions,” but hiccuped on his mead,
Cast “Enlarge Person” on the rat—now a dire rat on speed!
It stole the paladin’s holy symbol, ran off with the cleric’s mace,
The paladin chased it screaming, “That’s desecration of sacred space!”
The tiefling rogue pickpocketed the bouncer mid-uppercut,
Got caught, got launched through a window—landed in the chicken hut.
Chickens exploded outward, feathers raining like the snow,
The cook came out with cleavers yelling, “That’s it—EVERYBODY GO!”

OI! Mayhem in the tavern, chairs are flying through the air!
Dwarves headbutting halflings, elves pulling out their hair!
Tankards crash, spells go flash, the barmaid’s swinging pans—
Total tavern takedown, nobody’s got a plan!
OI! OI! Smash another chair!
If you’re still standing tomorrow, you weren’t really there!

The bard, now on fire (literally), rolled into the keg supply,
Kegs burst like bombs of ale foam—everyone soaked and high.
The dragon on the sign outside? Came alive from all the screams,
Flew in, saw the chaos, shrugged—“This beats guarding dreams!”
It joined the brawl for fun, tail-swiped the whole damn bar,
We woke up in the rubble, hugging strangers near and far.
The innkeep tallied damages, cried tears into his hat...
Then grinned and said, “Best night ever—same time tomorrow, chat?”

OI! Mayhem in the tavern, the best night we ever had!
Broken bones and friendships forged in the brawl that made us mad!
Tankards gone, roof half-off, dragon passed out in the loo—
Total tavern legend, and every word is true!
OI! OI! Raise a broken chair!
To the greatest night of mayhem—WE’LL ALL BE BACK THERE!