Learning to Let Go: Michelle's Story Of Her Daughter’s Drug Use, Self-Harm, & Suicidality [177]

Learning to let go is one of the hardest but most necessary parts of parenting a struggling teen, especially when your child’s behaviors feel frightening, confusing, and completely out of your control.

In this episode, I’m joined again by Michelle, a mom who has walked a long, painful, and ultimately transformative path with her daughter, who was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Together, we talk honestly about what it looks like to parent through intense fear, misdiagnosis, shame, and the overwhelming urge to control in order to keep your child alive.

Michelle shares what it was like before she understood her daughter’s mental health struggles, when substance use, self-harm, and suicidality felt like “bad choices” instead of symptoms, and how that misunderstanding led to extreme lockdowns that, in hindsight, caused more harm than healing. She also opens up about the guilt that followed, and how she learned to meet herself with compassion instead of self-blame.

This is a deep conversation about parenting a struggling teen when fear drives your decisions, and how letting go doesn’t mean giving up. Instead, it means changing how you show up. Michelle reflects on learning new ways to communicate, recognizing when “help” is actually invalidating, and managing the anxiety that comes with giving your teen or young adult more independence.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear around your struggling teen’s behavior, obsessed with keeping your child safe, or unsure where your responsibility ends and theirs begins, this episode is for you.

In this episode on learning to let go, we discuss:
What it feels like to parent before you understand your child’s mental health diagnosis;
How fear can lead to control, and why control often backfires;
Letting go of the belief that you can save your teen’s life;
The difference between supporting your child and managing your own anxiety;
How certain “helpful” behaviors (like constant checking or cheerleading) can be invalidating;
Practical tools for responding to fear without letting it run the show;
Learning new ways to communicate that build trust and self-advocacy in your teen or young adult child;
Redefining your role as your teen becomes a young adult;
And more!

Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan! → https://bit.ly/parent-home-plan

🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens. Learn more on my website https://bethhillmancoaching.com/

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Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com

And remember parents, the change begins with us.