Why I Left AA After 10 Years

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I left Alcoholics Anonymous. Leaving AA was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Honestly, I wasn't sure it was safe to leave AA.

I was in Alcoholics Anonymous for 10 years. I was a full on AA true believer. I went to meetings daily, sponsored women, and even cried my eyes out on Bill W's grave. I loved AA — then I knew I needed to leave AA.

This video is my story of leaving Alcoholics Anonymous on April 6, 2020 — and what happened next. It's been exactly 5 years since I left AA. I'm 5 years sober from AA and 5 years sober from recovery.

The recovering from recovery struggle is real. If you left AA and are struggling, that is normal. It can be hard AF for those of us who were fully in the programming. Or better said, it's hard to leave AA when the AA programming is fully in you.

For sure if you're quietly wondering if it’s okay to question recovery... you’re not alone.

👇 Timestamps

00:00 Why I left AA
00:36 Disclaimer
1:02 I was an AA True Believer
2:27 Recovery Learned Helplessness
5:12 Critical thinking cracked the ideology
11:32 Bill was selling an idea, not truth
16:59 Freedom after recovery
23:07 Deprogramming Alcoholics Anonymous
28:47 Why I'm talking about AA

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⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared here is for educational and informational purposes only and reflects personal experience and research related to recovery, trauma healing, and nervous system regulation. Nothing here replaces professional therapy, medical treatment, or recovery support tailored to you. If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please contact local emergency services or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.


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