The Problem Isn’t Motivation, It’s Friction

Why the heck aren’t we feeling motivated, even when we want to change?

And why do we keep picking arbitrary dates to overhaul our lives, as if motivation is something we can schedule?

In this episode, Brea and Ula chat through why motivation is so often blamed when the real issue is friction. We explore how cultural conditioning, perfectionism, guilt, and unrealistic expectations quietly get in the way of change, and why “trying harder” rarely helps.

This is a conversation about small shifts, seasonal rhythms, honest self-inquiry, and building practices that actually fit real lives. It’s for anyone who’s felt stuck, behind, or convinced they’re doing something wrong—and for teachers who want to create spaces that feel supportive instead of pressurized.

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00:00 Introduction
00:35 January pressure + expectation of motivation
01:36 Seasons + natural rhythms vs the calendar
01:50 Why spring is when action actually makes sense
04:53 FOMO, ads, and culture driving urgency
05:28 Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation
07:55 What’s really underneath “I’m not motivated”
09:02 Changing the container + taking smaller steps
12:00 Guilt and putting everyone else first
17:00 Why truth is expensive
18:55 Why change is hard (and why people pretend it isn’t)
31:10 How teachers unintentionally create friction