Engaging Virtual Meetings - Matching and Mirroring

Matching and mirroring operates on the principle that people like people who are like themselves.
These are easy openers that only use video and can take 1–3 minutes. You can use just one
or combine 2 to 10 of these openers. You can sequence the openers, such as lower-energy or easier
openers followed by openers that have more energy or that are more complex.
Behavioral research shows that matching and mirroring—copying other people’s body language,
mannerisms, and repeating their words—helps build trust and establishes rapport. This
benefit can help your meeting attendees get into sync or rapport at the beginning of the meeting
and help the results of your meeting by the end.
Here is a story of how powerful matching and mirroring can be.
I was at a training program showing how matching and mirroring is a valuable meeting skill.
When I learned this skill, we were divided into teams of three. One person, Helen, was asked to
strongly imagine an emotionally intense experience. I was the second person and I attempted to
match that person’s body position, breathing, and muscle tension as much as possible. The third
person, Alan, coached me on how to move or change to match the first person exactly.

Tips: Encourage people to follow what you do. You can call out by name if you are
watching their video. You can encourage people not on video to follow along; you can joke
in a playful way that you can see them. You can use some or all of these. It’s ideal that you
teach gestures that you are going to use again later in the meeting (like Thumbs Up if you
can see my slides).
Head Nod
Let’s start with an easy one. Just nod your head up and down. Like you understand what I’m
saying. Like you agree with what I’m saying.
Thumbs Up
Now, let’s say that if you can hear what I’m saying, give me two thumbs up. Thank you (name),
hey (name) can you give me a thumbs up please?
Thumbs Down
Now, let’s say you disagree or you’re unhappy with something or you can’t hear me. Give me
two thumbs down, boo, thumbs down.
Mind Blown
Let’s say that something you hear or learn in this meeting is amazing. Just put both of your
hands into fists on the side of your head and on 3, just blow your mind. Go from closed hands
to open hands; you can even make the noise like something is blowing up.
Jimbo Clark from InnoGreat (innogreat.com) was the first to show me this during one
of his program openers.
High Five
We can’t do this because we’re not together, but put your right hand up, yes, put your hand
up, and high five your camera!
Fist Bump
Now, take your left hand, make a fist, and fist bump the camera.
Credited to Ben Kenyon, founder of Great Day Squad (instagram.com/GreatDaySquad);
he likes to call them “knucks” and “strong knucks.”
Applause
Let’s pretend I gave a great keynote, everyone applaud—yes, clap, thank you!
Sign Language Applause
Now, most of time we are on mute, so we can’t hear your applause. So, let me show you how
to applaud in sign language. Put your hands up next to your head and shake your hands! This
is applause in sign language. Use this any time you’d like to applaud.1
Walk Like an Egyptian
Do you remember an 80s band that sang about an ancient civilization? Yes, everybody walk
like an Egyptian in one direction. And now switch. And back to me.
You can use any of the latest dance crazes; the best dances are ones that are upper body–
focused like the song “Watch Me” (Whip/Nae Nae) or “YMCA.”
Click bit.ly/evmwalk to see an example of how to walk like an Egyptian.

Breathe
Breathing together is an easy way to use matching and mirroring to get your attendees in sync.
Breathing can focus your attendees. Breathing is a way to calm or center the energy created
from previous matching and mirroring.
Put one hand on your heart and one hand on your stomach and take three slow breaths
with me.
Credited to Isabel Allen, founder of Isabel Allen Yoga http://www.isabel.yoga.
You can use other breathing patterns, such as a four-count breathing in and a four-count
breathing out.

Stretch
Open the meeting with a few easy stretches by matching one person leading the stretches.
Tilt your head left and right. Shrug your shoulders up and down. Stretch your left and right
arm across your chest. If the attendee has been on more than one meeting in a day, this is a
welcome and pleasant physical break in the day. It will have the hidden benefit of getting all
your attendees in sync at the beginning of the meeting.
Here’s a link to a video showing many of the video openers in action: bit.ly/evmmatching.