Thursday Week 10 : Da-Neon- Fears, Oil on Linen (19/03/2020)

Ooooooof, today is a tough one, because it coupled two of my fears! The first and most obvious, is taking into account that I'm a painter who feels like a pig in mud when working with a 4 color palette (titanium white, yellow ochre, cad red and ivory black). So deciding to work with what I initially considered cheap, garish neon colors is as shocking as a caveman being transported suddenly in front of Bladerunner's LA Coke Sign. And the second fear, was realizing that to get the most out of these colors I would have to work very cleanly and thinly and just let things be. Ahhhgggg!!! For a heavy handed painter like myself, that horrifies me! I have so much anxiety about putting a stroke down and leaving it, because I find a sense of security in knowing that oil paint is quite malleable, and you can constantly shift and change things as you paint. And I wrongfully equate thinned down, transparent paint either with uncommitted, unresolved ideas, or with watercolor which is my nemesis!!! (Maybe we'll do a watercolor week in the future just to put myself through punishment).

The truth is that I came out of this painting having newfound respect for these neon colors, and understanding that solving a painting means also recognizing and accepting the nature of your materials.


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