2 Simple & Effective Solutions for Shy People. A MUST WATCH If You Want To Sound&Feel More Confident

2 Simple & Effective Solutions for Shy People. A MUST WATCH If You Want To Sound&Feel More Confident

If you FEEL shy when speaking, the natural consequence is that you can SOUND shy. You may avoid putting yourself into situations that make you feel uncomfortable. This can make it challenging to get a job or make friends. I have two solutions for you:

Solution Number 1:
If you’re shy and you also SOUND shy (some people manage to cover it up), you may find that you have a pretty undesirable habit known as ‘RISING Inflection’. Rising inflection is when you over inflect your pitch, which sounds like you’re constantly questioning yourself.
Let me give you an example:
A: So what are you doing this weekend?
B: I’m going to the cinema?
As you can see, it sounds almost like I’m apologising (sorry, is that OK, can I go? Is that what you want to hear?) If you’re certain, it should sound like this:

A: What are you doing this weekend?
B: I’m GOing to the CINEMA.
What am I doing differently here? I start with a subtle inflection on I’m, I emphasise the first syllable of GOING and I bring my pitch down for the rest of the sentence.

Let’s look at some more examples:

I’m having my hair cut.
I’m going to a party.
I’m staying at home to study.
I’m working on my dissertation.
I’m going for a picnic with my family.
I’m having a BBQ.
Maybe you noticed some common themes: I inflect on I’m, I emphasise the verb and then I bring my pitch down (make it more bass) for the rest of the phrase.

So, that was SOLUTION NUMBER 1.

Solution number 2: CONFIDENCE
As a confidence coach, I know that a lot of people, incorrectly, believe that confidence is something that you’re BORN with. Trust me, I was a shy, but BRAVE child and I KNOW that it’s something that can be LEARNED.
The first thing you need to be aware of is HOW you do this thing called ‘being shy’. You’ve been practicing it for SO long that it probably feels like it is YOU, but trust me unless you’re a member of the 7 dwarfs, it does NOT deFINE you.

If you’d like to start working on this now, keep watching. We’re going to go through a coaching exercise.
Please start by closing your eyes (cue relaxation music) Take a moment to visualise yourself as a child, around 8 years old, notice any habits you may have had when going into an ordinary, everyday situation: social gathering, new school, new class, a party- nothing too extreme, just an ordinary situation. Notice your body language; how do you stand, notice your breathing, your voice… The habits may have started here. Imagine you’re editing a video; what needs to be CHANGED or IMPROVED? Could your younger self stand taller? Could they relax their shoulders a little? Maybe they could use a STRONGER voice or SMILE more. Whatever NEEDS changing, change it NOW. Once you’re happy with the results, turn up the volume and the brightness of the video image.

Now, let’s fast track to your teenage years, imagine you’ve been practicing this thing called ‘being confident’, how different could your experience be? With the same strategies you put into place for your 8 year old self, create an image of you as a bright, smiling, strong teenager. Notice how they stand, walk and talk. Notice how they hold themselves. How do they demonstrate this thing called confidence? Spend some time tweaking the image until you really understand what makes the difference. Once you’re happy with the results, turn up the volume and the brightness of the image.

Finally, let’s fast track to your current age. Imagine you’ve been practicing being confident ALL this time. How do you appear NOW? Notice the way you stand, the way you walk, the way you hold yourself, the expression on your face. When you’re happy with the result, turn the volume up and make the image brighter.
Now imagine that you’re stepping into the image of your confident self. Notice how it feels to walk in these new confident shoes and to see the world through their eyes, your eyes. It’s like putting on a confidence coat and confidence shoes, you can do it anytime. Just be aware of your body language and your voice, the expression on your face and the rest will follow. Remember that practice makes perfect.

Just start to wiggle your hands and toes now and when you’re ready open your eyes and come back into the room.

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