Common Ground Conversations | Ep. 29: Pause, Then Proceed

Happy New Year! In Episode 29, Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum and Dr. JoNeil Conley take Common Ground Conversations in a slightly new direction. After a year of talking about family dynamics (hello, “Uncle Albert”), they shift the lens to workplaces, professional groups, clubs, and organizations because the same conflict patterns show up everywhere… just with different stakes and power dynamics.

In this episode, we talk about:
-Why Common Ground principles still matter outside family systems
-A real-life meeting moment: when Bonnie is waved off mid-answer on a call
-The power of the pause (breath, regulation, and choosing response over reaction)
-How to decide: address it in the moment vs. take it offline
-Why documentation can matter (and when a paper trail protects you)
-“It doesn’t matter how they react; what matters is I said what I needed to say”
-Neuroception + amygdala hijack: your nervous system reacts before your logic shows up
-A simple image to remember: “Don’t be the fish” (decline the bait)
-How your “filters” shape what you hear (ex: nobody likes me anyway, I’m doomed to fail)
-Why relationships inside groups matter more than being a “fringe member”
-When urgency is real… and when to decline the invitation for urgency
-How to think about safety in different environments (supportive culture vs. dog-eat-dog)

Key takeaways
-Take the pause so you can choose a response you respect later.
-Regulation first, words second. Your brain can’t make clean decisions when it’s hijacked.
-You always have a choice, even if none of the choices feel great.
-In professional settings, it’s okay to say: “I need to think about this overnight.”
-Build relational equity in your groups, it creates safety when hard moments happen.

Quotes / moments you’ll remember:
“Decline the emotional invitation.”
“Don’t be the fish.”
“Use your mind as a tool, not as a weapon.”
“It’s not just family; it’s everywhere there are people.”

Join the conversation:
Have a scenario you’re dealing with at work, in a group, with neighbors, at church, in a professional organization?
Drop it in the comments or reach out. We may address it in a future episode.

Stay Connected / Work With Us:
Connect with Bonnie:
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Instagram: @empowermentandpurpose
LinkedIn: Dr. Bonnie Nussbaum
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Book a FREE Discovery Call: https://drbonnienussbaum.as.me/schedu...[]=9198914

Connect with JoNeil:
YouTube: @joneilconley8132
TikTok: @joneilsmithconley
Facebook: Dr. JoNeil
Instagram: @drjoneil
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Book a FREE Overwhelm Recovery Call:
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