Why Smart People Chase Avoidant Partners | Therapists Tehrina & Joel

Why do smart people end up addicted to avoidant partners? Download our free Meet Your Inner Team Assessment to uncover your patterns → https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/687ebd...
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✨ In this video, licensed therapists Tehrina & Joel Terry break down why smart people often chase avoidant partners—and why their approval feels so addictive. Using Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), brain science, and attachment theory, they explain how intermittent reinforcement works like a slot machine, creating powerful cycles of craving and self-doubt.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in a relationship where you’re constantly walking on eggshells, seeking validation from someone critical or dismissive, this video will help you understand why it feels so hard to walk away—and how to break free.

What you’ll learn in this video:
🔷 Why smart people are more vulnerable to chasing avoidant partners
🔷 The neuroscience of intermittent reinforcement & validation addiction
🔷 How childhood experiences shape your craving for approval
🔷 Why critical and avoidant partners feel addictive (even when you know better)
🔷 The IFS framework: Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles in validation cycles
🔷 Steps toward Self-leadership and creating healthy sources of love & validation
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✨ Healing anxious attachment ✨ Creating secure relationships ✨ Breaking family cycles ✨
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🎁 Free Resources to Support Your Healing Journey:
💝 Meet Your Inner Team - Parts & Attachment Style Assessment: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/687ebd...
💝 Must Haves & Deal Breakers Guide: http://eepurl.com/iT8Kx-/
💝 Anxiety vs Intuition Guide: https://mailchi.mp/3f06e154ba94/free-...
💝 Conflict Repair Worksheet: https://mailchi.mp/ac7cf781d9e9/confl...
💝 From Testing to Trusting Guide: https://mailchi.mp/7409c99f8e5d/zp727...
💝 Boundaries & Attachment Styles Quiz: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/qui...
💝 Parenting & Attachment - Breaking the Pattern: https://mailchi.mp/aaffa367b10d/rq6qj...
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👩‍🏫 Work With Us: Explore therapy, resources, and support:
🌐 https://centerforstrengtheningrelatio...

If you've ever felt too much, not enough, or like love is always just out of reach—we're here to help you heal, connect, and feel safe in your relationships again. 🩵
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🕒 Chapters:
00:00 Intro
00:40 IFS Framework
01:32 The Validation Trap: When Critical People Become Addictive
03:09 Why Smart People Fall Into This Trap Harder
04:33 The Childhood Blueprint: Where This Pattern Begins
06:24 The Neuroscience of Validation Addiction
08:04 When Firefighter Parts Try to Escape the Pain
10:09 Self-Leadership: Breaking the Validation Addiction
12:13 Creating Healthy Sources of Validation
13:29 The Science of Validation and Intermittent Reinforcement
15:19 Let's Get To The Heart Of It

#attachment #IFS #healthyrelationships #relationshipadvice
#healingjourney #emotionalintelligence #attachmentstyles
#AvoidantAttachment #AnxiousAttachment #traumabonding
#secureattachment #attachmenthealing #smartpeople
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📌 Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or mental health advice. Always consult your own licensed therapist or healthcare provider for support related to your unique situation.

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