𝜗ৎ 𝐌𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 :|: 𝓜𝓪𝔂𝓪 🕊

𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑎.

𓇢𓆸 "𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞."

i saw a lot of bday edits of maya this week, some of them cause me to cry. Some of them gave me nostalgia while others felt like a knife was thrown on my soul, and others caused me to sit on the floor crying for way to long.

I couldn't bring myself to post this here, whenever i tried to i just stared at the screen while it look so blury. Seeing her with Kalia and the pod broke my soul. Everything about Maya was special, her connections with the trainers and guests, her beautiful name and even something as simple as the way she swimmed gracefully with the rest of the pod felt ethereal.

Maya wasn't just a 'whale' for me, she was (and still is) a piece of my soul that makes me feel complete. She gave me comfort in any way possible for an animal that even know, years after she's gone still resonates with me.

I love Maya so much that even the word love falls short. There's no word that can explain how much I love every single bit of her existence, from her tail flukes to her eye patch, to her personality and name, im deep in love with every single piece of her.

The day i lost Maya was the day my whole world shatter into pieces. A normal school day turned empty the minute that notification of Seaworld popped on my phone. Suddenly the words i never expected to be together (atlest not this soon) along with a picture of her were there. I immediately became scared with so many thoughts in my head. "Is she okay?" "Maybe shes sick? " "maybe om confusing makani with maya" but deep down i knew that she wasn't okay because she was gone. I enter Twitter to read what seaworld said and thats when the whale i cherished forever, the reason i became in deep connection with killer whales, and that friend that was always there for me was gone. The screen was blury, my eyes were red, my mind couldn't belive it and my soul felt empty. Years later, that emptiness is still there.

Writting descriptions for every whale i love always feels so emotional for me. Sometimes i spend hours writting them yet i can't never fully explain the deep connection i have when It comes to them, not even 10 percent of the love i have towards them can be shown here. Its also the same with death. No matter how long i write this, i cant never fully describe that grieving feeling of losing my whole world in a couple of minutes.

Even now, my heart feels aching. It stings knowing shes gone. Its like a deep cut that has never healed.

Oh maya, i hope ur bday in heaven was full of special surprises just like how especial your mere existence was.

Vc: Seaworld, CetusCetus, Echobeluga, Orcinus footages.