Ouromov’s Men Run a Train on The Boiiz | Depot & Train | GOLDENEYE 007 | N64

In this episode, Uncle Bob and Jack Dawsonscreek roll into the Depot level of GoldenEye 007 on the Nintendo 64—stoned, locked in, and ready to prove they’ve still got it. Under the warm hum of a CRT and the soft haze of weed smoke, they tear through train cars, storage crates, and armed guards with the kind of scrappy determination that comes from years of button-mashing friendship. This time, the mission clicks, and Depot falls to their relentless, slightly clumsy teamwork.

But the night doesn’t end there. Riding high on victory, they take on the infamous Train level—a gauntlet of tight corridors, ticking timers, and endless enemies. The stakes feel higher, the laughs louder, and the frustration deliciously familiar. Despite their best efforts (and maybe a little too much “strategy” discussion), the mission slips through their fingers. The train speeds on without them… for now.

It’s all part of the retro gaming magic: winning one battle, losing another, but always coming back for more. Because with these two, it’s never just about beating the game—it’s about the vibe, the banter, and the unshakable belief that next time, they’ll get that train. And they will.

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