Halftime at Yale 2024

Consuming 6x the national average of olive oil, it's the Princeton Uuuuuuuniversity Band!

Don't catch the Yague! Here with the best disease prevention advice, it's sousa player Tim Shimizu '27.

Student Conductor: Jacob Jackson '26
Drum Major: Kate Voltz '26
Announcer: Thomas Buckley '26

Filmed with the help of Tim Shimizu '27 and edited by Delaney McCarty '26.

Full Script:
Why won’t Ben Shapiro talk about Sailor Moon? What is he hiding? It’s the Princeton Uuuuuniversity Band!

[Band marches on to Princeton, Forward March]

In New Haven, I caught a plague: a rare plague a YALE PLAGUE … the yague on the yuttle on the yuttle to the Y as of yore, but the yague made me yak so much yellow and my yum turned to yuck so i yapped to the yops for some yelp, but the yokels locked me up and I yearn for a yance to go yank my yaHOO [pause] out of Yale on a yacht… in the yog down in the yalley-oh.

Yikes! We always knew that Yale was youble.

[Band form “yague” and plays I knew Yale was Youble.]

One reason Yalies might be getting so sick is their copious olive oil consumption. As your dining halls proudly proclaim, Yalies consume 6x more olive oil than the national average. Why on earth do you need all that oil? Rather than curing OLIVE your ailments, as is purported of a mediterranean diet, it may be causing a number of immune system slippages and slides. Yalies have argued that all that oil helps them have slick moves on a night out, but surely OLIVE this oil can’t really be that good for you all. At least, that’s the impression that we get.

[Band forms olive and plays “Impression”]

Run away band! Head manager Ariane Adcroft has fresh, body temperature olive oil waiting for us in the stands!

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