It Took Me 43 Years to Trust Myself

It took me 43 years to truly trust myself—not just “believe” in myself. In this first Solo Reframe episode, I explore how much we edit, shrink, and perform just to feel included… and what happens when belonging becomes a survival strategy instead of a genuine home.
I share a personal story from a recent trip to India as a third-culture kid, how being constantly measured as “enough” (Indian enough, American enough, successful enough) quietly shaped my identity, and the moment I realized I wasn’t confused—I was layered.
We’ll dive into why self-trust and belonging are deeply linked, how low self-trust makes us outsource our worth (in friendships, family, community, even business), and what changes when we stop waiting to be chosen and start asking: Where am I celebrated, not just tolerated?
I close with a few reflection questions to help you gently notice:
Where are you still editing yourself to stay included—and what might shift if you trusted that who you are is already enough?
00:00 – It took me 43 years to truly trust myself
00:22 – Belonging as survival: performing, editing, and earning inclusion
00:47 – What Solo Reframe is: self-trust, connection & deeper questions
01:38 – Birthday weekend reflections & why this episode is about trust (not confidence)
02:41 – When belonging feels earned: saying yes to rooms that don’t fit
03:50 – Third culture kid: always being asked “Where are you really from?”
04:54 – Returning to India & feeling observed, measured, and “not enough”
06:01 – Reframe: you’re not broken or too much—you’re layered and complex
08:00 – Self-trust + belonging: why they’re not separate experiences
08:39 – Fragile self, rigid boxes & why blurred lines feel threatening
10:41 – When you trust yourself, belonging becomes something you co-create
11:35 – People-pleasing, staying in misaligned rooms & the loneliness that follows
11:56 – Celebrating others as a mirror of how safe you feel in yourself
13:34 – Business story: outsourcing decisions vs owning your role as founder
19:57 – Final reflection: where are you still waiting to be chosen?

Connect with Dr. Payal Beri:
📸 Instagram: instagram.com/dr.payalberi
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@payalberi?su...
🌐 RK Empathy: rkempathy.com
💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/payalberi
🎤 Book a Talk: payalberi.com

🎙 Podcast by MicMoguls.com

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