What is making me and US sick? An inquiry into my 30 year battle against Chronic Lyme disease.

Really struggling with my Lyme symptoms this week! 😢Feels like it's the end for me and US, unless the autoimmune cvil war can be stopped within and outside simultaneously! Still feeling a complete loss for how I'm going to find this, but if I share my vision, maybe I will find the help I need. America transformed me, but didn't yet show me how to heal and be healed; to be born again in a way that transcends the disease. This is more of my story about how I'm determined to find a way out of no way!

I see two futures unfolding before US. Unfortunately, one future dominating my and our collective life, feels bleak! With this name and fragmented legacy I was born from, there is no future! I feel like this disease eating up my body is about to crash and burn my life! I move through existence scraping through at half capacity, feeling like half a person, feeling like my presence inspires more negativity than good; most likely caused by how uncomfortable this disease is making me feel inside my body, and this feeling I see reflected back at me in the faces of my friends and family, uncomfortable watching a walking train wreck that has no future, because I can't find a way to heal and this disease is setting my existence into a stove top pot set to slow boil! This has been building for years towards the intense heat about to send me over the brink.

This personal future is connected to the depressing one we're moving towards as a collective, with end of the world religious prophecies getting embraced rather than denied, the closest they've ever been to fulfillment. If we can't find a breakthrough to end business as usual, I can't help but see US on track to crash and burn as a nation and world, with greed, egomania, lies and fear setting US past the point of no return. And this doesn't even take into account the climate crisis pot we're in, with the slow boil about to amplify our stress, hostilities and level of tolerance in enduring hovering around the near breaking point for as long as we have.

The other future is the only thing keeping me going; a hopeful vision of our personal and collective transformation, where I can be born again along secular lines to prove religious extremists wrong by finally healing, making a clean break from the old order, taking a new name and new life pledging allegiance to the Earth and a coming global country, while helping end business as usual with election of the first woman president in our history, so America can be born again! And just maybe if this happens, we can move our world closer to the awakening needed to build a future and a starship without the World War, getting the beautiful Star Trek future without a detour through a new Dark Age! And just maybe there will be enough Christians born again along secular lines, that they will end reign of Fascist White Jesus, denying the future of Revelation, embracing the more humane man of color Star Trek Jesus, trying to assemble a spaceship Earth crew of diverse humans with family bonds that transcend biology!

And just maybe in this beautiful dream future, I can feel deep connection with my family again, that this disease has stolen, restoring a sense of gratitude for having the treasure of my mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, sister, stepbrother, Godsister, other siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends still present in my life, This is the dream in me that life hasn't yet killed, responsible for animating what's left of my existence!

AmericaTransformed.US which is why I seek this next logical step in its evolution; healing, being born again and reaching our greatest potential as a nation and world together!
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