IFS-Informed EMDR Part 2: How to do Exile (or Inner Child) Work

Today we dive into how to work with parts of our clients that hold pain (or exiles as they are called in the IFS world). Some of the questions I cover in this video are:

“It seems like we have found a part of you that’s holding pain.”

“How old are you feeling right now?”

“What should we call this part that’s holding this emotion?”

“As you sit in the room with me today, how are you feeling toward this part of you?” ***Anything besides compassion, care, or curiosity indicates you’re engaging with another part so name that. “I am noticing we have connecting with another part of you that feels angry or critical of this part. Let’s hear from this one.” And then begin work with this protector (see Part 1 of this series    • IFS-Informed EMDR Part 1: How to Unblend f...  )

“Can you imagine what that part looks like? If it took a form, what would it look like? Let me know whatever pops into your mind”

“What would it be like for you as you are today to make a connection with that part?

“How’s that part responding to you? Do they know who you are? Does it feel okay to them?”

“Can you ask that part to show you what it’s like to be them?”

“Can you let that part know that you really see and understand what they’re showing you?”

“See if you can be with that part in exactly the way they need (or needed at that time).”

“What are you noticing?”

“Notice what it’s like for you in this moment.”

I hope that was helpful. Stay tuned because Part 3 of IFS-Informed EMDR is coming soon!

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