The Sakarnen - A Wheel of Time Parody by Dale Harris

"The Sakarnen" is a parody based on the song "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage The Elephant.

** SPOILER ALERT **
This parody song includes complete spoilers for season 3, episode 4 of The Wheel of Time TV show. Do not watch it or read the lyrics below if you don't want this episode spoiled for you.
** END SPOILER WARNING **

Credits:
Literary characters and concepts from The Wheel of Time book series
https://static.macmillan.com/static/t...
Video clips from The Wheel of Time on Amazon Prime
https://primevideo.com
Original song is "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage The Elephant
https://www.cagetheelephant.com/
Karaoke backing track from Karaoke Version
https://www.karaoke-version.com/custo...
Editing and royalty-free content from Microsoft Clipchamp and GIPHY
https://clipchamp.com/en/
https://giphy.com/

Parody Lyrics:
He was the-
Ya know it
He was the-

I was watching my TV
Of course it was The Wheel of Time
Part way through episode four of season three
Yeah, I was ready to see Rand
Become the Car'a'carn
Fulfill the Rhuidean prophecy

A pit stop at the tree of life
A lore dump would be nice
How 'bout some exposition from Moiraine
Then in the columns Rand would see
Dudes that look just like himself
His ancestors, beginning with his dad

Oh, when Latra pulled the Sakarnen
From the last chora tree
She had shit to say
She had threads to weave
The glass columns for Aiel to see
I heard this crystal ball
Is super dope
When combined with Callandor
I know it's going to be so exciting
To see the sword that's not a sword

A flicker 15 seconds later
Lewin's joking with his friends
When he sees his mom walk up to him so full of fright
She said some bandits took his sister
But they can't go get her back
The boys decide to sneak into their camp at night

Well they try to go in quiet
But of course the dudes wake up
And Lewin slices a guy's face off like it's beef
He tries to justify his actions
But his mom disowns his ass
Because that's not the Way of the Leaf

Oh wow, Moiraine just swiped the Sakarnen
From the last chora tree
She's got rings to slay
She's got a place to be
A thousand thousand futures there to see
She knows this crystal ball
Is super dope
When combined with Callandor
It's a good thing her dress had a pocket
So it does not fall on the floor
Yeah

You know it
He was the-
Ya know it
He was the-

And then I had to rub my eyes
When I saw Charn in the Sharom
Because it's something that I never thought I'd see
A perfect sphere up in the sky
With humble farmers down below
A little science fiction in this fantasy

Then we get Mierin looking sweet
Because she isn't Lanfear yet
Trying to make us sympathetic to her goal
But the Sharom falls from the sky
Just as the Dark One is revealed
Into reality she bored a freaking hole

You know, when Rhodric put the Sakarnen
In the last chora tree
He's gotta keep it safe
He's gotta try to flee
So they can keep the Way of the Leaf
He knows this crystal ball
Is super dope
When combined with Callandor
I'm sure we'll see that come to fruition
When we get to season 4