矛盾心夜 / KAGENAKIMONO

🎵『矛盾心夜』
🎧 KAGENAKIMONO

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「ありがとう」って思うのに、心は壊れたがっていた。
「生きたい」って願うのに、死にたい夜がまた来る。
誰かを想うたびに、どうしようもない矛盾が心を引き裂いていく。

この曲は、優しさと孤独、感謝と絶望、そして生と死の間で揺れる
“本音”をそのまま歌にした作品です。
あなたがもし、笑っているのに壊れそうな夜があるなら、
きっとこの歌が寄り添えると信じています。

・English

I was happy, but I was hurting
I had fun, but I wanted to cry
I was loved, but I felt alone
I wanted to live, but I wanted to die

I know it’s wrong to feel this way
I know I have to stay strong
But in the quietest moments
My heart just longs to disappear

Thank you for being kind to me
Thank you for loving me
But still, there are nights I want to die
And I hate myself for feeling this way

I was smiling, but it was fake
I looked fine, but I was acting
I had friends, but I wanted to be alone
I believed in tomorrow, but wanted to throw today away

I know I have to keep on living
Every time I want to die
Your face appears in my mind
But still, my heart won’t understand

Thank you for noticing me
Thank you for staying by my side
But still, there are nights I want to break
And I’m scared of how pathetic I feel

God, tell me—why
Did you give me this kind of heart?
I don’t want to fall apart, but I always do
I want to live, but I ache to die

Thank you for being kind to me
Thank you for loving me
But still, those nights always come
And I can’t forgive myself—it hurts too much