ERP Exposures for Retroactive Jealousy: Real-Life Exposure Examples

Exposure is an effective treatment for retroactive jealousy. Choosing to lean in to those thoughts and feelings about your partner’s past. Even those most uncomfortable feelings about their sexual history. The things they did before you knew them.

Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) is really helpful for people with all kinds of OCD struggles. But when the thoughts revolve around another person - your partner - coming up with useful exposures can be difficult. It’s not like touching the thing with the germs or going to the scary place.

We need to come up with ways to deliberately provoke the thoughts, uncertainties and even the judgements without getting our partner involved.

And then with retroactive jealousy OCD, when the focus is on our partner’s sexual past, it’s even more tricky. Partners of people with RJ have had enough of their past being dragged up all the time. Partners can be supportive - they often are - but we have to be respectful in how we go about ‘using’ their past for exposure therapy.

An essential element of Exposure Response Prevention is exposing ourselves to the trigger - deliberately having the thoughts. And then letting the feeling pass without doing anything to make that happen. Not looking up the past or asking about the past or replaying stuff in our minds. Not self-assuring or self-comforting either. Being able to leave it alone, let it pass.

So imaginal exposures come in really useful here. RJ has us using (or misusing) our imagination to keep replaying scenarios about our partner’s past, so we may as well use our imagination to get out of this obsession. You can go anywhere in your imagination, as you've probably found - right into the details. We’ll do some of that, deliberately and therapeutically.

Drawing on my work as an OCD therapist, I provide ideas and examples of imaginal exposures for retroactive jealousy. And some essential guidelines for getting the most benefit from ERP exposures, whether working with a therapist or as self-help.

#retroactivejealousy #ocd

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The information provided by Jason Dean is solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or sexual health conditions. Although Jason Dean is a psychotherapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your doctor before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.