Finding God (by Tanja Nayak)

Dear God,

When I witness the dawn, I immediately see You there in the vast expanse of the sky
I feel calm
Your presence pervades all of Creation
You are in the clouds, You are everywhere
Heaven beams rays of Heavenly light
Angels are flying up on high
I feel at peace

The subtle colours of Your daily masterpieces show that You are like a great artist with the entire Universe as His ever-unfolding canvas
Your creativity knows no bounds
Your dreams never end
You always have been and always shall be
Your voice is in the birds’ song
A gentle breeze becomes Your soft caress
I feel Your loving presence all around me, enveloping me with a profound sense of peace, love, security, and harmony

At dusk it is easy to sense your presence
The sky is awash with colour again
Angels are flying up on high
They rejoice in the beauty of Creation
I know that once more You truly are everywhere and my soul and spirit soar
How my soul longs to be with You

Throughout the day You never were really gone
I was simply rushing to and fro and my day was hastily consumed by a multitude of mundane tasks
The clock ticked away
I didn’t take the time to pause, to savour the very mystery of Your Divine and Holy presence

To know that You are even ever present in the spaces between words and in the hidden chambers of my beating heart is a source of great joy and mystery to me
Throughout the day I never was truly alone
If only I stopped for a moment to ponder Your infinite wisdom
If only I stopped for a moment to truly connect with You and Your thoughts
Your spiritual texts command me to hear with new ears, see with new eyes, to listen with a new heart
Yes, if I take the time to just be I might just know that You always are there at the center of all things
You are always everywhere
I should never be afraid
I think of Mary and Martha, will you forgive me?

When I wake in the dark of night and all is quiet
Sometimes I just weep
Sometimes I say my prayers half out of duty and half out of desperation so perhaps You will hear me faintly murmur my petitions?
At the very least I earnestly say “The Lord’s Prayer”
And perhaps I can even hear You speak for a precious moment if I am still?
I remember that You carved the Universe out of the darkness with words
Simple letters are magic in Your hands
You are the loving and all-powerful Creator
The Alpha, and the Omega
The beginning and the end

In the silence I find my peace
Your Love enfolds me, I am unafraid
“Everything will be okay,” You say
“Put God first and everything will fall into place,” sweet and loving words of reassurance delivered by an Angel

Abba, logos, reason, logic
Sophia, gnosis, knowing, intuition
You are everything to me, like a father and mother

The Holy Spirit ignites the darkness, Everything is at once crystal clear, Life is a mystery and a perpetual joy
I need not labour to know that I am loved
Free from the labyrinth of my mind
I enter a new mind where everything is in perfect balance and at peace
I am content to simply be
To come to You is truly to find my rest

I say a silent prayer in my mind
I see crosses and Trinity knots
My mind is flooded with images of roses and lotus flowers

Sometimes I see angels

My mind becomes Your mind
I find my rest

I find You at the epicenter of my being
Here there is the true peace and contentment only You can bring
Much to my astonishment I find that You simply are
I am in the presence of a God who is at times formless and nameless, yet capable of bringing infinite peace and love to my body and soul from head to toe
It as if someone switched on a light in my mind and I am instantly resting in an abode of infinite peace and love

Much is still a mystery to me
You are so much more than I can ever fathom
And yet for a moment everything seems abundantly clear as I rest in the peace of Your infinite presence
You always have been and always will be
You simply are, the Great I AM
Thank You, God for this and every day

Amen