Islamic Child Raising (Tarbiyah) | Part 10

🔴Video Timestamps On Part 10 of This Islamic Child Raising Lecture Series Below⬇️

Shaykh Usama Abdulghani gives priceless lessons and practical instructions on how to raise our children & families the right way, using the books of Shaykh Abbas Validi, a specialist in Islamic child raising.

00:00:00 – The First Seven Years: Making Children Feel Intense Love
The foundation of tarbiyah in the first seven years is not instruction, but ensuring children feel intense love. When love is established early through action, its effects appear quickly and shape lifelong receptivity.

00:01:28 – Mercy in Parenting and Its Five Lasting Effects
Showing mercy to children invites Allah’s mercy upon the family. Homes built on love produce obedience, resilience during hardship, emotional attachment, and a natural return to guidance even if children stray.

00:03:25 – Everyday Behaviors That Communicate Love
Simple actions—smiling, gentle speech, using affectionate names, physical touch, honesty, humility, and appropriate freedom—quietly communicate love more powerfully than lectures ever could.

00:05:11 – Why Games Matter in Islamic Tarbiyah
Play is introduced as a serious tool of upbringing, not entertainment. The games children play carry messages that shape attachment, trust, and emotional security.

00:05:49 – Parental Involvement vs. Passive Presence
Allowing a child to play on a parent is not the same as playing with them. Intense love forms only when parents actively participate rather than remain distracted or emotionally absent.

00:08:52 – Initiating Play and Competing with Screens
The strongest message of love is sent when parents initiate play themselves. When parents lead with enthusiasm, children naturally disengage from screens without confrontation.

00:12:22 – Children Absorb Messages Beyond Words
Children receive messages through behavior, tone, and availability—even before they have language. Feeling ignored, delayed, or brushed aside communicates emotional distance regardless of intent.

00:14:01 – Being a Child With Your Child
Effective play requires parents to lower themselves emotionally and enter the child’s world. Humility in play strengthens bonds and reflects Prophetic guidance in tarbiyah.

00:17:18 – The Prophetic Model of Play and Dignity
The Prophet ﷺ played physically with children, carried them, and invited others to do the same. True dignity in Islam is found in presence, not detachment.

00:28:34 – Why Active Games Are Essential for the Fitrah
Children are created with energy and motion by Allah. Active play is not optional—it is necessary for emotional balance, inner peace, and healthy development.

00:31:25 – The Hidden Harm of Suppressing Movement
Quiet children are not always peaceful children. When energy is suppressed rather than released, irritability, anxiety, and inner unrest develop over time.

00:38:07 – Screens and Video Games as a Dangerous Substitute
Screens create false excitement while keeping children sedentary. This combination distorts natural energy, increases dependency, and makes later correction difficult.

00:39:01 – Play Without Fear: Safety as a Requirement of Tarbiyah
Games that involve fear, shouting, or anxiety lose their spiritual benefit. True tarbiyah through play requires safety, warmth, and emotional reassurance.

00:43:52 – Redirecting Play With Wisdom and Love
Rather than punishment, wise parents redirect play thoughtfully—providing safe alternatives that preserve joy while maintaining boundaries rooted in mercy.