My Government Handler Thinks I'm a Wicked Superfan

This week’s vlog is unhinged in the most normal way for me. I got an early morning phone call while I was already at work (because when am I not at work?) from Agent Richard Briscoe A There’s also a Richard Briscoe B. That’s not a bit. That’s real. What followed? A spontaneous helicopter ride to Melbourne. Why? Not for anything important. No. They just wanted to give me a Christmas advent calendar. And, look, I’m grateful. But also? Why is this my life?

In this vlog, I talk about the weirdness of that day, why I’m over being expected to perform cultural rituals on top of working 80-hour weeks, and how I’m drawing a hard line: I can either be a full-time doctor, or I can be a full-time performing monkey for the culture-industrial complex. But not both. I’m also sharing thoughts on why I don’t feel motivated to get fit in a town where the local dating pool includes men with chrome balls on their utes. Plus: a little Wicked advent calendar unboxing rant, the Briscoes’ matching Zac Efron haircuts, and a minor philosophical meltdown about identity, obligation, and survival through apathy.

If you like chaotic storytimes, existential rants, and government agents who may or may not be twins with no eyeballs, this one’s for you. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and comment your favorite fast food chain in Melbourne (because it should not be Five Guys). New videos weekly, or whenever the absurdity of life forces my hand. 💚

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If you're still reading this have you had any water today? You should go drink some water. Stay hydrated. Love you.

Except Ronald. Fudge you, Ronald.

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Testimonials from important people telling you why you should subscribe:

“Of all the inquisitive hobbits, KC, you are the worst” — Gandalf

“Excuse me, KC, do you mind not farting while I’m trying to save the world?” — Doctor Who

"She's like the sister we never wanted" -- Dean Winchester

[bleeps in dissatisfaction] — R2D2

“She’s a wizard” — Hagrid

“You don’t even go here” — Hannibal Lector

"I would adopt her even if she wasn't an olympic gymnast" - Bruce Wayne
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The video you just watched is totally a work of fiction. 100% UNTRUE. Total lies. A fever dream inside a dream journal inside a haunted Etch-A-Sketch. Any similarities to real life people, places, events, entities, medical clinics, outback towns, or men named Drest Levesque with perfect bone structure is purely coincidental. Also, the Agents Richard Briscoe totally did not force me to write this. I did so of my own volition.

While we’re on the subject, the Agents Richard Briscoe definitely don’t have suspiciously shiny foreheads and matching haircuts. Because they, as we all know, don’t exist and obviously none of this ever happened.

For real, for real. Never happened. None of it. Ever. Not a doctor. Definately not from the year 4000. Nope. Nada. Believe that.