Are You His Distraction or Upgrade?

Are you the woman he enjoys. . . or the woman he upgrades his life for?

Many single Black women are doing everything “right” in dating — showing up, communicating, being supportive — yet still find themselves feeling overlooked, undervalued, or stuck in situationships. This video is an honest, empowering conversation for Black women wanting marriage who are ready to stop guessing where they stand and start understanding how they show up.

In this episode, we’re unpacking the subtle but powerful difference between being a distraction and being an upgrade — not from a place of blame, but from self-awareness, growth, and discernment. We’ll talk about emotional maturity, boundaries, conflict style, and what truly makes a woman feel safe, respected, and chosen in a man’s life.

This video is especially for Black women who want marriage, are tired of repeating the same dating patterns, and are open to looking inward to create real change. If you believe in growth, emotional intelligence, and becoming the healthiest version of yourself — this conversation is for you.

If you’re a single Black woman who wants clarity instead of confusion, alignment instead of anxiety, and love that leads somewhere — you’re in the right place.

Take the next step:
I created a quiz called What’s Blocking You From Being Soft in Love to help women identify the emotional habits and patterns that keep showing up in dating. When you take the quiz, you’ll not only get your results — you’ll receive a 3-page personalized action plan to help you shift how you show up and break cycles that no longer serve you.

👉 Take the quiz and start choosing differently: bit.ly/whatsblockingyou


Books That Have Impacted My Views on Men, Dating & Relationships:
1. Saving Your Marriage Before it Begins: The 7 Questions to Ask Before and After You Get Married https://amzn.to/3Xc5lb5
2. His Needs Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage https://amzn.to/3QwmHLO
3. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs https://amzn.to/434D6ic
4. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dream-girl https://amzn.to/3XfE3jZ
5. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man https://amzn.to/412RFAc
6. What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience and Healing https://amzn.to/4hOTZSl
7. Getting the Love You Want: A Couples Guide https://amzn.to/3XgOkML
8. Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet https://amzn.to/4gWKoaW
9. Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others https://amzn.to/3CZMysA
10. The 5 Love Languages https://amzn.to/43gl0JY


For Helpful Resources Check Out the Links Below:
👩🏽‍🦱 Quiz link: What's Blocking You From Being Soft in Love: bit.ly/whatsblockingyou

📱 Apply for a coaching conversation with me: bit.ly/bookacoachingconvo

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
2:39 Signs you're a distraction vs upgrade
13:50 Outro

✋🏾DISCLAIMER: This video is not sponsored. Some links are affiliate links which means if you buy something I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.