How to Keep Your Ex Out of Your Estate Plan

Divorce doesn’t just end a relationship; it leaves a tangle of legal documents, beneficiary forms, and estate planning decisions that need follow-up. In this episode, Jill answers a listener question from Amy in Tennessee, who just finalized her divorce and wants to know whether she needs to update her Will. Jill explains how Tennessee treats estate planning documents after divorce, why beneficiary designations are often the biggest risk, how ERISA complicates things, and real court cases where ex-spouses walked away with hundreds of thousands of dollars simply because the paperwork wasn't updated. She also shares practical, small-step strategies for getting started without feeling overwhelmed.


What You’ll Learn in This Episode


Understanding What Changes Automatically (and What Doesn’t)

• In Tennessee, divorce automatically cancels gifts to an ex-spouse under a Will and removes them as executor or trustee.
• But, in Tennessee, beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, life insurance, and payable-on-death bank accounts are NOT automatically revoked.
• Relying on state law or your divorce agreement is very risky. Change the forms directly.

Powers of Attorney After Divorce

• Healthcare powers of attorney naming an ex-spouse are automatically revoked by Tennessee law after divorce, but it’s still best to update the document so care providers don't have to interpret.
• Tennessee financial powers of attorney do not update automatically unless the document says so. Get them revised.

ERISA & the State Law Problem

• Some states automatically revoke beneficiary designations after divorce, but ERISA-governed accounts (like 401(k)s) preempt those state laws.
• Translation: Your ex could still get your 401(k) even if your state law automatically revokes beneficiary designations favoring an ex-spouse.

Real Cases with Real Consequences

• Estate of Birdwell: TN court ruled in favor of ex-spouse receiving ~$290,000 because the beneficiary designation was never corrected and a last-minute attempt failed.
• Manning v. Manning: TN court required the ex-spouse to follow the divorce agreement and waive rights, but the outcome might not be repeated today.
• 2017 TN case: A divorce agreement cannot revoke a retirement-plan beneficiary designation. Only the plan’s official method counts.

Divorce Agreements Don’t Save You

• Saying your ex relinquishes rights in the divorce paperwork is generally insufficient.

How to Protect Yourself (and Your Family)

• Review and change beneficiary listings on: retirement accounts (IRA, 401(k), pensions), life insurance policies, bank accounts with POD/TOD designations
• Add contingent beneficiaries.
• Keep a list and revisit it after major life events.

Resources & Links


Tennessee Advance Directive for Healthcare


Episode 38: Why You Need (or Don’t Need) a Will (https://www.deathreadiness.com/podcas...)


Connect with Jill:

• Website: DeathReadiness.com (https://oversimplyllc.com)
• Email: [email protected] (mailto:[email protected])
• Learn more about Jill’s solutions (https://www.deathreadiness.com/services)
• Subscribe (https://death-readiness.myflodesk.com...) to the Death Readiness Dispatch!
• Submit a question for Tuesday Triage (https://www.deathreadiness.com/tuesda...)

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This podcast provides estate planning guidance for women and discusses real, practical issues, from caregiving, pre-planning a funeral, how to avoid probate using beneficiary designations, planning for individuals with special needs (and special needs trusts), whether you need a professional fiduciary (trustee or executor), how the estate tax works and how to preserve your legacy.


 


Tuesday Triage episodes answer questions from listeners like you, from powers of attorney, healthcare advance directives (and whether they work when you’re pregnant), what a Last Will and Testament really is, whether you need a trust, how Medicaid works and how to have senior and elder care conversations and how to care for aging parents.


 


Disclaimer: This podcast and all related content are for educational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. No attorney-client relationship is established here. Use of this information without careful analysis and review by your attorney, CPA, and/or financial advisor may cause serious adverse consequences. For legal guidance tailored to your unique situation, consult with a licensed attorney in your state.