The Army Too STUPID To Die (And How They Did It) | Warhammer 40k

⚠️ CONTENT WARNING
This archive contains: Tactical incompetence utilized as a weapon, maps read upside down, Avatars of Khaine mistaken for festive fireworks, the misuse of tube socks against elite assassins, and the strategic deployment of expired lunch meat against psychic geniuses.

In the Warhammer 40k universe, knowledge is power and foresight is the ultimate weapon. But what happens when the enemy is so profoundly confused that they become impossible to predict?

This is the story of how Craftworld Alaitoc, the masters of prophecy, suffered their most humiliating defeat against a regiment that didn't even know it was in a war.

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📋 IN THIS ARCHIVE:

Witness the deployment of the 42nd Jopal Indentured Squadron ("The Accidentals"), who were sent to the wrong planet due to a clerical error and decided to conquer it anyway because they were already there.

Watch Farseer Elthirion, a tactical genius who can see the future, have a complete mental breakdown trying to predict the strategy of Colonel "Stumbles" Vance—a man whose only strategic concern is finding his missing tea kettle.

Discover how a "perfect ambush" was ruined because the regiment stopped to rescue a biscuit tin from a swamp, and see how the deadliest assassin in the galaxy was defeated by a laundry mishap.

This is not a story of courage.
This is a story of weaponized oblivion.
This is why the Emperor protects the simple-minded twice as hard.

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💬 COMMUNITY ARCHIVE REQUESTS:
You wanted to see how stupidity can beat strategy. The Historitor delivers.
Next file: Why Orks are the Only Happy People in the Galaxy! (Get your fungus beer ready).

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The Emperor Protects.
But checking your map protects better (usually).
Tactical Intelligence: N/A
Farseer Mental State: 📉 Critical

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This is an unofficial fan work and is not endorsed by Games Workshop. All rights to Warhammer 40,000 are owned by Games Workshop.

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