How to Calm a Dysregulated Child

When "calm down" and "use your words" aren't working with your child, you need co-regulation. In this episode, I'm sharing the PACE Method—a simple framework for helping children of all ages settle their nervous systems without saying a word.

🎯 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
Why your child's behavior is a sign of their nervous system state, not defiance
The science behind why logic doesn't work when kids are dysregulated
The PACE Method: Prepare, Anchor, Connect, Expand
Specific co-regulation techniques for toddlers, school-age kids, and teens
How to use rhythm, resonance, and your own nervous system to calm your child
Ways to practice co-regulation during calm moments (not just crisis)

✨ THE PACE METHOD:
P - Prepare Yourself: Ground your own nervous system with feet on floor, deeper breaths, and soft eyes
A - Anchor Your Body: Position yourself at their level, keep your body open and non-threatening
C - Connect Through Rhythm: Use rocking, humming, tapping, or breath matching
E - Expand the Window: Introduce gentle movement, touch, or playfulness as they begin to settle

📚 FEATURED RESEARCH:
Dr. Bruce Perry - Bottom-up brain development and "Regulate, Relate, Reason"
Dr. Alan Shore - Children borrowing regulation from caregivers
Dr. Gabor Maté - Attachment over teaching lessons
Dr. Stephen Porges - Neuroception and safety signals
Dr. Karen Purvis - "Your child sees their preciousness mirrored in your eyes"

🧒 AGE-SPECIFIC TIPS:
Toddlers (2-4): Focus on body support—holding, rocking, rhythm
Preschoolers (4-6): Use imaginative co-regulation like "breathe like dragons"
School-Age (7-11): Try side-by-side activities like walking or playing catch
Tweens/Teens (12+): Respect their space while staying present in the same room

💡 KEY TAKEAWAY:
Your regulated nervous system is the greatest gift you can give your child—not perfect parenting, not all your words of wisdom, but your calm presence when they're falling apart.

💫 WANT TO GO DEEPER?
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👋 ABOUT ME:
I'm Dr. Christine Baker, a Licensed Professional Counselor with 13 years of experience in trauma recovery and a certified Somatic Experiencing practitioner. I believe mental health healing comes through addressing the stuck places in our bodies, which is why I created this podcast—to offer you practical, body-based tools you can use every day.

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