05/06/2015 Pencil Neck Stuck In Traffic

This Friday Rub clip features Jim, Garry, Chief and Damo in the Triple M studios tonight because the game is in Perth. Garry is welcomed, Chief is welcomed, as is Damo, and then Duke?… Crickets. He’s not here, because he’s currently stuck in traffic. So it’s time to discuss some standards in the Triple M box. Only the highest is expected of high quality people. But we haven’t heard from the human flagpole, as Chief likes to call him. Or Mr. Squiggle as Wolf likes to call him. And Wolf does the same drive that Duke has had to do. But he understands traffic. Unlike the Duke who is stuck in traffic as we speak. He’s from the West so he clearly doesn’t know Hawthorn traffic, so Chief thinks he should ship off back to Footscray. They do finally get him on the phone and he tries excuse after excuse, but the boys have none of it. And while he has been gone, they have raided his desk in the office, and found some stuff in there that puts his last list of demands in the shade. There’s a chance that Duke won’t even make it for the second hour, so Garry wants to help him get out of the traffic, claiming to be a walking Melways. But when Duke reveals he’s right out the front of the Precinct Hotel, they believe he’s not stuck in traffic because traffic is bad, but because he was late after having a few drinks! He doesn’t care, though, because this is a one time thing, and he knows it won’t happen again. But the best bit comes when Garry tells him that he’s looking at four blokes who made it on time, because when Duke tries to say that he’s looking at four blokes that don’t do a lot during the day (even though he finishes work at 9am), Chief reminds him that Duke’s not looking at anyone – he’s listening to them. Bang! And he doesn’t stop there, either. Chief then calls him the only bloke that can put his head in a coin slot without rubbing his ears. Unbelievable, Chief. Duke might need a chopper to get him in quick smart, which Jim reminds him is how he has been getting around lately, because he’s far too ahead of himself. And when you get there, bring the food and drinks. There was also a text Duke sent earlier, and I don’t think they can repeat any of the three words it contained. They cut him off the line and Garry provides some traffic advice for the Duke who would be listening in the car. Men of character and integrity put their hand up right away and apologise when they stuff up this bad, but the alternative is to be the world’s biggest flog, and we know which path Duke took. As Winston Churchill once said about a member of Parliament, Duke has much to be humble about. The Pack agrees, as their advice is less than complimentary. One thinks there must have been a glove sale at Louis Vuitton, explaining his tardiness.

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