The 'Dark Nights' That Broke Me Open | Real Transformation Looks Like This

Have you been on a spiritual journey for years but still feel stuck? After 20 years of seeking enlightenment—reading every book, attending conferences, trying every meditation technique—I found myself at 48 years old, driving 80 mph, thinking about ending it all. That's when I realized: I'd been doing spirituality completely wrong.

In this video, I share the raw truth about what two decades of spiritual seeking actually looks like. The three lies that kept me stuck. The two dark nights of the soul that broke me open. And the one practice that finally rewired my brain after everything else failed.

This isn't about "love and light" or pretending everything is perfect. This is about the messy, complicated, beautiful truth of what real spiritual transformation looks like—including homelessness, financial collapse, and the moment I almost gave up entirely.

If you're tired of spiritual entertainment that makes you feel good for a week but doesn't create lasting change, this video is for you.

Timestamp:
0:00 — Introduction: Years of spiritual seeking, certifications, and feeling stuck
3:13 — The three lies: Awakening is easy, manifestation solves everything, transcendence
5:38 — Second dark night: Moving to Florida, breakdown, and turning point
7:16 — Beginning the real internal work and starting guided meditation
11:32 — Discovering the difference between silent and guided meditation
15:30 — Three truths: No doing it wrong, dark nights are invitations, need for daily practice
18:30 — Final advice, encouragement, and closing thoughts

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DISCLAIMER:
This video contains discussions of suicidal ideation and mental health struggles. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 (US) or your local emergency services. The content in this video is based on my personal experience and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. Always consult with qualified healthcare providers regarding your specific situation.