Understand Your Guilt

When guilt is misplaced and felt constantly without a real reason, it is so destructive. Healthy guilt is the feeling that we get in order to keep us accountable and conscious when we do something wrong. In other words, if you do something wrong, you analyze yourself, and you learn the I do something different in the future and that's the appropriate guilt or regret feeling that will promote that learning and change in behavior.

But often, people who come from families of origin that use guilt as a way to levy control over the person or to have them not think about themselves at all.... instead they are taught that they need to prioritize either the narcissistic parent or they need to be thinking of the group over themselves constantly. Sadly, the messaging is that a person's self-esteem suffers horribly. And then they end up in patterns of behavior where they accept poor treatment or they will themselves be constantly feeling guilt and also using guilt to control others.

Guilt should only occur when you've done something wrong! Legitimately! Engage in dialogue with yourself....ask yourself the key question, "Did I actually do something wrong?"
If the answer is "No, I just really want to say no or I really don't want to do that and I know longer want to participate in that.". Or something similar that is about prioritizing yourself....then there's nothing to feel guilty about and you need to work with a therapist or with a trusted friend in order to neutralize that habit, pattern, dare I say curse (!!) of feeling constant guilt which really robs a person of a good quality of life.

#guilt
#generationalcursebreaker
#overguilt
#healingpatterns
#familylessons
#chilhoodsurvivalpatterns